'Sometimes less is more,' I say, defensively, but we are distracted by a man with ginger hair who's sidling past. He raises a carrot baton to Colin as a mark of deep respect, and mouths 'Pyjamas' with a grin. Colin smiles, smugly, and nods and rolls his eyes too. The man starts laughing again and moves on.

I consider what I'm seeing. The pyjamas element certainly does seem to have taken the story to a new level. Perhaps pyjama stories are the zeitgeist. But I am now very concerned indeed that none of my stories is good enough. That I will need to bring Colin with me everywhere I go to improvise new endings to established favourites. Suddenly I lack any confidence whatsoever in my party ammunition. The landscape has changed. I am bereft of bankers.

'You can't do that,' I say, testily. 'You can't just go about improving other people's stories. It's irresponsible.'

'Why is that irresponsible?'

'Because now all those people will be wondering why I didn't mention the fact that Steve was wearing pyjamas in the first place. They will think I am an inept storyteller incapable of including the most basic of facts.'

'I suppose you should have mentioned it. It was the funniest bit.'

'But he wasn't wearing pyjamas! And now I have to remember that he was wearing pyjamas and that his wife was furious. That's why it's irresponsible!'

'I thought I was helping!' says Colin, looking genuinely hurt. 'To be honest, I've never liked that story anyway. I've always thought it was ... laboured.'

I am shocked. Laboured? Colin has always thought the Steve-falling-into-the-bath story was laboured? It is a classic of its time! Well, this has certainly been a day for testing all my preconceptions! Perhaps the world is flat after all! Anything is possible if the Steve-falling-into-the-bath story is laboured!

I shake my head at Colin and resolve to prove him wrong. I spot a man I've not yet talked to, standing by the window on his own, eating a samosa. I show Colin my stern face and I nod at him to let him know I have accepted his unspoken challenge. Laboured, indeed! I wander over to the man and within minutes I have managed to steer the conversation round to baths and bathing.

'Actually, I've got a funny story about that,' I say, a little too loudly, glancing over at Colin.

The story does not go well.

Colin walks by, just in time to hear the words 'wife', 'pyjamas' and 'pineapple'.

'Was the pineapple too much?' I ask, later, and Colin nods.

'Sometimes less is more,' he says.

THE BABY

'Remember to be on your best behaviour,' says my wife, a little unnecessarily.

After what happened in the same place recently, I do not need reminding to be on my best behaviour. All I can think about is how I should be on my best behaviour.