On I walk - slowly, not briskly - to the high street. I pass McDonald's. Not yet, I think. Not yet, my little friend.

What could I do? I think. I'm supposed to be at home, working! Being healthy! Being responsible! But I could do anything! Go anywhere! I could walk into a travel agents and buy a ticket somewhere - and then not go! Or I could hail a taxi and say 'Follow that cab!' and then follow one, with little regard to purpose or money! Who knows where I could end up? Limehouse? Wealdstone? Dalston? The world is my rule-free oyster!

In the end, I buy a Twix and go to Currys.

I shouldn't be in here, I think, naughtily. There is nothing I need! Those TV programmes are always telling you you shouldn't go into places like this when you don't have a purpose! You'll end up buying something you'll regret!

I browse for a bit, but Currys is actually quite boring. I will not allow that to beat me, though. I buy a hundred Verbatim CD-R discs for £11.99 - even though I know I can get the same ones cheaper at the market! Ha. Poor Colin, missing a day like this, I think. A day of impulse and rule-breakery. He will not believe his ears when I tell him what I've done.

I pass the cinema. I never go into the cinema on my own. It is not the done thing. People who go to the cinema on their own during the day are seen as oddballs. It is against the rules. I know there and then that I will go.

But first ...

'Big Mac, please.'

'Big Mac meal?'

'Yes, please.'

'Drink?'

'Coke, please.'

'Coke or Diet Coke?'

'Coke!'

I sneak the Big Mac meal into the cinema inside my bag. The ushers know this but do not seem to care. This is insanity! I think to myself, shaking my head and nestling into my seat. The film begins, and it is rubbish. I have no one to make sarcastic comments to. There are two or three other lone men watching the film. I eat my Big Mac in bored silence, and instantly feel a little ill. Also, the pint has made me sleepy and I'm fairly sure my Twix was off.

I leave the cinema disappointed. I look around me and try to come up with another rule to break. Another rule that so-called society and guilt tell me is set in stone. I am looking for quite some time.

I am home by three o'clock, my initial feelings of rebellion dampened. I smell of Big Mac. I've Sky+'d Loose Women, and I try to watch it, but Kerry Katona is on and so I switch it off.

I have a nap.