He shrugs and twists his hands so that his palms face the ceiling. ‘You win some and you lose some. You mustn’t be so sensitive.’

‘Talking about sensitive, I need your help with something which is just that.’

‘Come on, Saffron. That’s fine. We’ve known each other forever. Try me.’

I stir uncomfortably in my chair. ‘I need to know how to use the darknet.’

He stiffens. ‘Whatever for?’

‘It’s embarrassing.’

‘Try me.’

‘I want to buy some fetish stuff for Miles and me. I don’t want the family to ever find out.’

Ted’s eyes shine with curiosity. My stomach tightens.

‘I do know a bit about it,’ he replies. ‘I enjoyed my master’s in computer science, before I took the plunge and became an accountant. My friend Stan, from the course, is quite a whizz kid, I talk to him about the darknet sometimes.’

‘I know you have connections. That’s why I asked. I just don’t ever want anyone to know about this. I’m so embarrassed. I need to know how to cover my tracks.’

‘Why do you need to do that? Why can’t you get fetish gear from “normal” sources? It’s quite mainstream these days.’

‘If Caprice found out, she’d make out I was a pervert. She’s always got it in for me. You know that.’

‘I can put you in touch with Stan, about covering your tracks. He makes a lot of money on the side, helping people to navigate the darknet. He’s a wealthy man in fact.’

I lean across and take his hand. I hold his eyes with mine. ‘Thank you.’

‘I think it’s actually much simpler than people think. You just need Tor encryption to enter it. I’ll get in touch with Stan so that he can send you the link. He’ll be able to show you how to use it and remain undetectable. But you won’t know who you’re dealing with.’ He pauses. ‘And it’s a nasty world out there.’

‘I’m capable of looking after myself.’

He stands up, leans across my desk and kisses me gently on the cheek. ‘Be careful, Saffron. You’re my dear friend. You’re precious to me.’

89

Hayley