I bite my lip. ‘Yes, Saffron, I am.’ I pause. ‘And Mother must have contrived for Hayley and me to be alone, with yet another of her blasted headaches. Hayley then tried it on with me. I rejected her. I threatened to dismiss her, but she was so upset, I decided to give her another chance.’

‘And the hug?’

‘I’ve told you already, she hugged me in relief. She didn’t want to lose her job.’

73

Saffron

‘Just admit your mother is a prize bitch who has caused a lot of trouble and I’ll forget about it,’ I tell him.

‘It’s true, Saffron. Mother has been a prize bitch.’ Miles swallows quickly, as if he’s choking on his words.

I shake my head. ‘It’s not a one-off. Tell the truth. You have got to face facts: she is a prize bitch.’

He steps towards me. ‘She is a prize bitch,’ he repeats, voice stronger this time.

I gesticulate for him to come closer. ‘Let’s go to bed. You can listen to Tosca with me.’

74

Miles

‘Now you can listen to Tosca with me.’

You press the Sonos controller. Maria Callas’ voice floats around our bedroom.

You perform a striptease in front of me. Slowly, provocatively, dancing to the opera and removing your clothing.

75

Caprice

Opera music blasts from Miles and Saffron’s bedroom. What are they doing making so much noise at this time of night? They need to turn it down or they’ll wake the boys. I put my dressing gown on and walk across the landing. I knock on the door. No reply. But I can hear heavy breathing. Breathing. Gasping. Screaming.

‘I love you, Saffron.’

More screaming.

Disgusting. Like feral animals. I pad back to my room. I’ll talk to them about this in the morning.

76

Hayley

Breakfast time. The boys race into the kitchen.

‘Tie your laces,’ I snap. ‘And tuck in your shirts.’

Caprice, sitting with a plate of cracked eggshells in front of her, nods in approval. I lay the table as the boys tidy themselves up.

‘Can I get you anything?’ I ask Caprice.

‘A cup of camomile tea, please.’

I make her brew.

‘Thank you. That’s a pleasant surprise. I didn’t know we had any,’ Caprice says, as I hand it to her.

‘Saffron bought some last week.’

I sit at the table and begin to eat my granola. Miles and Saffron enter the kitchen holding hands, and Caprice’s body stiffens. I feel hot and know I’m blushing. Seeing Miles, so lovey-dovey with his wife, so soon after my faux pas, is beyond embarrassing. I watch Saffron making her usual bright green smoothie, whisking it with spinach in the liquidiser. At least she is behaving normally. Miles helps himself to muesli, avoiding eye contact with me. Saffron decants her concoction into a large insulated cup and comes to sit next to me.