‘If you don’t believe me how are we going to move forwards?’

‘It’s not my fault we’re both attracted to the same woman. But I’m her husband, for God’s sake. We love each other. You need to forget about her. Back off.’

My stomach twists. ‘You don’t need to remind me.’

‘You need to find someone of your own. Someone special. You had Julie. It just didn’t work out. Next time it will. Use Tinder. Whatever. Just make more of an effort.’

I smile. ‘OK. Good idea, mate. I will.’

I cannot tell him the truth. I never loved Julie, and she knew. That’s why she left me. The only woman I’ve ever loved is you, Saffron. No one compares to you.

56

Miles

I leave Aiden’s flat and walk along the King’s Road towards the tube station, dust from passing traffic misting my eyes. How can I hold a grudge against him when I have everything I want? Aiden has everything, and yet, nothing. Life is not built of bricks or possessions. It is far more ethereal. Full of electricity and emotion. Made up of what I have with you, Saffron.

57

Hayley

I know you mean something to him. Something new. Something big. Caprice’s voice shouts across my mind. I’m sure I’m right. I’m sure I’m right.

Oh, Miles, I have been suppressing how I feel about you for so long. Pushing love away. Trying to be magnanimous. To think about Saffron. To think about your family. Not all out for myself. But now Caprice’s words have unleashed the full power of my emotion. It pulses like a tsunami inside me, building and building.

Alone in my designer bedroom, I sink naked into red silk and allow myself to dream. I close my eyes and fantasise. You are lying next to me. Pulling me towards you. Telling me that you love me. Telling me you want me. Telling me that things with Saffron aren’t working out.

I lie in bed thinking about you, playing with my clitoris. I experience the best orgasm I have ever had. Panting as I recover. Heartbeat reducing slowly.

Miles Jackson, I’ve had you in my imagination. Now I want you for real.

58

Saffron

Ted steps into my office, smiling. A real smile that reaches his eyes. The kind of smile he hasn’t given me for a long time.

‘The bank have granted us a nine-month loan.’

Relief floods through me, warming my blood, my body. I stand up, pull him towards me and hug him. He smells of coconut and musk. I pull away and open the office door.

‘Come here, Julie,’ I shout.

She scuttles into my office looking worried.

‘It’s good news. The loan has come through. We’re going out to celebrate.’

We’re in the cocktail bar at the RAC Club, Pall Mall.