I step towards you, and shake my head. ‘No.’ I pause and think about it. ‘But it makes sense actually,’ I continue. ‘I was worried about her because she was often really tired. She had a lot of back pain. And back pain can be caused by cancer secondaries.’

Your face stiffens. ‘Why didn’t you say something?’ you ask, voice sharp. ‘We let her soldier on. We didn’t take her to the doctor. I can’t stop blaming myself. You were the only one who ever asked her how she was feeling.’

You sit in front of me, shoulders rounded, cheeks wet with tears. I step towards you and put my arms around you. You cling on to me, body trembling. A platonic bear hug. Nothing more for now. One step at a time.

157

Aiden

I ring the doorbell of Wellbeck House, and Hayley answers, hair coiffed, make-up lathered exuberantly across her usually natural face. Strangely artificial. Eyelashes like spider’s legs. Slugs for eyebrows.

‘You don’t usually wear a dress,’ I comment on her pale blue chemise. ‘It’s the first time I’ve seen your legs. Wasn’t sure you had any.’

‘Legs or dresses?’

‘Both.’

‘Ha, ha. Thought I’d make an effort. What are you doing here? What are you after?’

I grimace. ‘After? Is that your opinion of me, that every time I come here, I have to be after something?’

She smiles, her warm wide smile. ‘Everyone’s after something in life.’

I raise my eyebrows. ‘And what exactly are you after, Hayley?’

She laughs. ‘Right now all I’m after is a coffee to perk me up. Would you like one?’

‘Yes.’

We move into the kitchen. A large arrangement of lilies and orchids bristles from the central station. The family photographs have been rearranged. Less of Saffron. More of Mother. Miles must be adding them because of his grief. My favourite one of Mother takes centre stage. It was taken at her sixtieth birthday party. A sideways view of her sitting in a chair reading a book. Miles’ idea. He said if she wasn’t staring straight into the camera it would be more natural.

‘Where’s Miles?’ I ask. ‘I was hoping to see him.’

She moves towards the coffee machine. ‘He’s gone to the police station to make another witness statement. Didn’t he let you know?’ Hayley bustles about pressing buttons on the coffee machine. ‘They want to speak to us all again, now they know Caprice was ill.’

I sit down and tap my fingers on the pine table. ‘No. He just rang me distraught because he hadn’t been able to take her to a doctor. I didn’t realise he was having to give more evidence.’

The coffee machine spits and hisses.

Hayley raises her voice above it. ‘I expect he’ll phone you about it later. It sounds as if we’ll all have to.’