The waitress moves to take an order from the next table.

‘Are you marrying an alcoholic?’ Janet asks, under her breath.

‘Having a few glasses of wine in a steak restaurant, on a special occasion, is not a sign of alcoholism.’

I sigh inside. Simon warned me she was difficult. I look at my watch. We’ve only been here twenty minutes, but I feel exhausted.

‘Excuse me. I just need to pop to the toilet,’ I say and stand up.

‘Don’t scrape your chair.’

I try not to scowl at her, but I’m not sure it works.

I walk slowly towards the ladies. I already need a break from her so I will prolong this as much as possible. I do not need to pee. I pull the wooden toilet lid down and sit, eyes closed. Breathing deeply. Trying to relax. Veronica’s name spinning in my head. Thinking back to the night I could have killed Saffron. Seconds away from piercing the hydraulic feed to her car brakes.

What stopped me?

A feeling of foreboding. A sudden knowledge that Caprice was winding me up. That you and Saffron were good people. That neither of you deserved this. A darkness moved across my mind and I suddenly knew I must not do it. I got out from under the car and walked away quickly, closing the gate behind me. Body trembling, slowly, in the shadows of darkness I made my way back to the squat. Saffron must have had so much to put up with from Caprice. And now I am receiving my punishment. I have met Janet, or Janx, as Simon calls her behind her back. Janx sounds like an evil character in a sci-fi novel. She certainly seems evil, I’ll give her that.

I force myself to stand up and walk back to the table. The wine and the food have arrived. We sit and eat in silence. As soon as his plate is empty Simon excuses himself to visit the bathroom.

As soon as she has me to herself, Janx leans towards me. ‘I always hoped Simon wouldn’t marry someone who was only a nanny.’

Only a nanny. Surely she wouldn’t be so condescending and rude? I must have misheard.

I lean towards her. Our eyes meet. ‘Say again? I didn’t quite catch that.’

She leans forwards too and speaks succinctly in my ear, carefully enunciating every word.

‘I always hoped Simon wouldn’t marry someone who was only a nanny.’

‘Only a nanny? Some people think childcare is the most important job in the world.’ I speak stiffly, barely containing my temper.

That is it. The battle is on. Saffron, if I have correctly guessed the truth of your actions, I suspect one day I will need your help.

192

Saffron