I drive home, after stilted conversation over Conrad’s Thai stir-fry supper, still not sure whether Julie is telling the truth. If she is having an affair with Miles, would she tell me? No. Of course not. I would be the last to know. But … but … she sounded so sincere.

21

Hayley

Saturday afternoon. Saffron asked me to help Miles with the children today but Caprice unexpectedly released me, and told me to take the day off, so I’m sitting opposite Jono in the pub. He is drinking Doom Bar, whilst I sip a large glass of Merlot. The new serpent tattoo on his index finger has become infected. It’s bandaged and he winces every time he lifts his pint.

‘How’s it going at the nobs’ house?’ he asks.

Not this again. I wriggle uncomfortably in my chair. ‘Why are you so scathing of my employers? From what I understand you were brought up in a posh house too, before you became rebellious for the sake of it.’

He grins a mischievous grin. ‘Well, the middle class in the UK are oppressive and controlling. No wonder I needed to pull away.’

‘You didn’t pull away. You were expelled.’ I hesitate. ‘From that school. I can’t remember its name. The boot boarding school.’

He laughs. ‘Wellington. It’s a famous English school.’ He pauses. ‘And yes, I decided not to conform. And then I was expelled, because of that. The sterility of the upper-middle classes is caused by their desire to fit in.’

‘Is that why you took expensive elocution lessons, after you were expelled? To sound less posh? To make sure you didn’t fit in?’

He scowls and winces as he lifts his pint. To make the pain and effort worthwhile, he takes three large gulps before he bangs the glass clumsily back down on the table. ‘How did you know about my elocution lessons?’

‘You told me when you were drunk.’

His face is riddled with embarrassment. ‘It’s not so strange. Many celebrities have done it. It’s not popular to be far back anymore.’

‘Far back?’

‘You know, using long vowels. Baath. Paath. Graass.’

I take a sip of wine and giggle at the strange way he overeggs his words. ‘What celebrities have taken elocution lessons to lose their educated accents?’ I ask.

‘Mick Jagger, for a start. He’s a posh boy really.’

‘He hasn’t rebelled by moving into a squat.’

Jono shrugs. ‘Maybe he did when he was up and coming.’

‘When he was up and coming he was studying finance and accounting at LSE. And he was a talented singer-songwriter with an amazing voice and magnetic stage presence, right from the start. I’m not sure you have much in common with Mick Jagger.’

‘Don’t diss me, Hayley.’

‘It isn’t dissing someone to say they’re not as talented as Mick Jagger. Not many people are.’