I raise my palms to the ceiling. ‘Who knows. She was tired, lacking in energy. Whenever we expressed concern, she blamed her age. We should have guessed. Sent her for a check-up. She was only sixty-eight. That’s not old in the scheme of things.’

Jenifer Tomlinson’s dark eyes soften. ‘No, it isn’t, and I am very sorry for your loss.’

She pauses. ‘We need to find out as much as we can about her medical condition and her mental state around the time of her death. Are you willing to come to the police station to make another statement?’

‘I’ll do anything to help find out what happened,’ I reply, sighing inside. Last time the statement took seven hours to make. Seven hours on eggshells, not wanting to mislead in any way. Another day of torture, but how can I refuse to help?

‘Two p.m. tomorrow?’

‘Fine.’

Jenifer Tomlinson stands up. ‘Did your mother have a laptop?’ she asks.

I stand up and hover by the drawing room door. ‘Yes, but she only used it occasionally.’

‘Have you still got it?’

My stomach tightens. I have been too upset to touch her things. I know I need to sort them out, but it’s still too soon. Too painful.

I nod. ‘Yes. All her possessions are still in her bedroom and in the annexe. The laptop will be in her bedroom. She kept it on her bedside table.’

‘We would like to have a look at it. It might clarify a few details about her illness.’

‘Do you want me to get it?’

‘No. We don’t want anyone touching the objects in her bedroom. I’ll go and put it into an evidence bag. We need to check your mother’s possessions forensically again. I’m going to cordon her room off with police tape. No one must go in.’

A crime scene again. Will this nightmare I am living in ever end?

156

Hayley

Low lights. Mood music. Silk underwear. No. No. No. It’ll frighten you if I come on too strong again. Should I just try and snog you by the swimming pool? By the dishwasher? Slide too close to you on the sofa when we’re watching a film?

Or should I wait until the middle of the night and burst into your bedroom? I know Caprice was right. I’ve seen you looking at me with glimmering eyes. Glimmering more brightly now Saffron is out of the way. It really turns me on when your gaze meets mine.

Late at night I step into the kitchen. You are sitting at the table, drinking red wine.

‘Are you all right?’ I ask.

You hadn’t realised I was in the room. You turn towards me, startled, and shake your head, slowly, sadly.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever be all right again. Did you know my mother had cancer?’