How could the doctor have dismissed the children’s bruises? You seem to have put a spell on both my sons. Did you put a spell on the doctor too?

Breathe. Breathe.

I look across at the daffodils. They bloomed early this year. Once so dazzling and proud, they are dying already, their leathery yellow trumpets withering at the edges, heads bowed and bent. I look at them and feel tired. So very tired.

My iPhone tells me it’s 11 a.m. The day stretches in front of me, pointless and empty. My back is throbbing and painful. I pull myself up and hobble across the lawn. I’ve got no energy. I’m going to take some ibuprofen and go back to bed. What do the young people call it? A duvet day. That’s all I’m capable of. Or maybe, just maybe, if I lie down in the warmth I’ll be able to incubate another plan. Even if I’m too tired to action it yet.

105

Saffron

Monday morning. Ted’s friend Stan is in my office, again. He is tall and thin, with a long nose and a long face. Bald on top with a greasy, hairy monk’s ring. His belly is so large he looks as if he’s pregnant. Sitting next to me, smelling of cigarettes and alcohol. Glancing across at me with narrowed eyes. As usual, for a second I fear that Ted has told him what I said I wanted to buy on the darknet. But I push that thought away. Ted, my trustworthy, long-standing friend, wouldn’t do that.

‘We’ve nearly finished our training. If you concentrate really hard, after a few more serious sessions you’ll be able to manage on your own. Get hold of anything you want. Watch me carefully,’ Stan barks.

I lean towards him and bury myself in his alternative, evil world.

106

Caprice

I feel tired all the time. So tired that I have to fight against my body to keep going. I am so low, so depressed. Whatever I do to try to harm you backfires. Until now I’ve always been in control, powerful. The matriarch. The head of this family. But my power seems to be ebbing away.

There is, however, a small glimmer of brightness in my future. I have had another idea about how to damage you, Saffron. No one can set up their own multi-million-pound business without the occasional slip-up. You must have done something incorrect since you set up Belgravia Private Clients. Most solicitors don’t have the wherewithal to set up their own firms.