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Back The Life We Almost Had
Chapters (100)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Note to Readers
  4. Dedication
  5. Prologue
  6. Part One
  7. Chapter One
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Chapter Three
  10. Chapter Four
  11. Chapter Five
  12. Chapter Six
  13. Chapter Seven
  14. Chapter Eight
  15. Chapter Nine
  16. Chapter Ten
  17. Chapter Eleven
  18. Chapter Twelve
  19. Chapter Thirteen
  20. Part Two
  21. Chapter Fourteen
  22. Chapter Fifteen
  23. Chapter Sixteen
  24. Chapter Seventeen
  25. Chapter Eighteen
  26. Chapter Nineteen
  27. Chapter Twenty
  28. Chapter Twenty-One
  29. Chapter Twenty-Two
  30. Chapter Twenty-Three
  31. Chapter Twenty-Four
  32. Chapter Twenty-Five
  33. Chapter Twenty-Six
  34. Part Three
  35. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  36. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  37. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  38. Chapter Thirty
  39. Chapter Thirty-One
  40. Chapter Thirty-Two
  41. Chapter Thirty-Three
  42. Chapter Thirty-Four
  43. Chapter Thirty-Five
  44. Chapter Thirty-Six
  45. Part Four
  46. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  47. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  48. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  49. Chapter Forty
  50. Chapter Forty-One
  51. Chapter Forty-Two
  52. Chapter Forty-Three
  53. Chapter Forty-Four
  54. Chapter Forty-Five
  55. Chapter Forty-Six
  56. Chapter Forty-Seven
  57. Chapter Forty-Eight
  58. Chapter Forty-Nine
  59. Chapter Fifty
  60. Chapter Fifty-One
  61. Chapter Fifty-Two
  62. Chapter Fifty-Three
  63. Chapter Fifty-Four
  64. Chapter Fifty-Five
  65. Chapter Fifty-Six
  66. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  67. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  68. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  69. Chapter Sixty
  70. Chapter Sixty-One
  71. Chapter Sixty-Two
  72. Chapter Sixty-Three
  73. Chapter Sixty-Four
  74. Chapter Sixty-Five
  75. Chapter Sixty-Six
  76. Chapter Sixty-Seven
  77. Chapter Sixty-Eight
  78. Chapter Sixty-Nine
  79. Chapter Seventy
  80. Chapter Seventy-One
  81. Chapter Seventy-Two
  82. Chapter Seventy-Three
  83. Chapter Seventy-Four
  84. Chapter Seventy-Five
  85. Chapter Seventy-Six
  86. Part Five
  87. Chapter Seventy-Seven
  88. Chapter Seventy-Eight
  89. Chapter Seventy-Nine
  90. Chapter Eighty
  91. Part Six
  92. Chapter Eighty-One
  93. Chapter Eighty-Two
  94. Chapter Eighty-Three
  95. Author’s Note
  96. Book Club Questions for The Life We Almost Had
  97. Acknowledgements
  98. Extract
  99. Chapter One
  100. About the Publisher

I talked incessantly, reminding him that he had a life worth coming back to. When I’d exhausted our memories, when I’d been exhausted by our memories, I plucked random countries from my mind and talked about his plans to visit them. ‘France. You remember that’s where you were going to start your trip, Adam? You were going to eat frogs’ legs and croissants and visit the Notre-Dame.’ We had talked about it sometimes, the two of us completing Adam’s dream trip before we started a family, but I hadn’t wanted to leave my home. My family and friends. It wasn’t only the thought of Mum living alone, without Dad, coping with Nan; I found the thought of months living out of a rucksack daunting rather than exciting. I wondered whether Adam ever regretted not going. Whether he ever regretted meeting me. ‘We could go now,’ I offered. ‘You, me and the baby. The adventure of a lifetime. That’s what Nell toasted on the plane when we first flew out here. Did I ever tell you that? It has been, hasn’t it? The adventure of a lifetime, you and me?’ We may not have travelled or done anything notable but we had made a life together, we had created this new life that bloomed inside of me.

Hours later I was quiet; I had been dozing on and off but was awake once more. Through the greying light I could barely make out his features. I held his hand, careful where I placed my fingers and closed my eyes, stroking his thumb with mine. It could be just he and I as dawn broke. Throughout the night I had adjusted to the noises in the corridor outside, the squeak of a trolley being wheeled in the corridor, the chatter of nurses, the odd peal of laughter, relegating them to the background. It was nothing but white noise. Oddly comforting.

‘Okay, mister. Hint taken. I’ll shut up and let you sleep for now. You must be exhausted after all your hero antics yesterday. I can’t believe you’ve saved me from almost drowning twice. But soon it will be time to get up. We can’t all laze about in bed. Some of us are growing a life, remember? And if you don’t wake up, you’re going to end up with a child named Charlotte or Harry. Neither of which you liked.’