The sea was an impossible blue. The glistening waves beckoned to us as they lapped against the honeyed sands. We had landed a few hours ago and after unpacking we’d come out for a walk. The late-afternoon heat pushed us back as we trudged up the slope towards our cove. The place I first realized that I didn’t want to live without Adam. It had become more touristy since we had last visited on our honeymoon. There was a scattering of shops and bars where whitewashed houses once stood.

‘Do you think our lock is still there?’ I nodded towards the myriad padlocks that clamped their love onto the fence bordering the beach.

‘Doubtful. They’ve probably got rid of loads to make way for more. It’s a tourist attraction. The souvenir shop over there is selling them for ten euros.’ He pointed to an A-Board. ‘Hey.’ He noticed the way my face collapsed. ‘Don’t be sad.’

But I wasn’t just sad because part of our history had been rewritten. I was also nervous. Scared of the things I needed to say. Scared of his reaction.

‘Fancy an ice cream?’ he asked.

‘No. A bottle of water would be good though.’

My mouth was dry, too full of the words I couldn’t speak.

While Adam was in the shop, I stared out into the distance. A yacht bobbed towards the opposite island.

‘Here you go.’ Adam handed me a bottle of Evian. ‘And this is for you. Us.’ He rustled a paper bag towards me. Inside was a lock and a pen.

‘Can we do it later?’ I pushed the bag back towards him.

‘Anna, what’s wrong?’ He looked at me with such concern. Such love.

I had to tell him.

Today.

Now.

‘Nothing… I… Let’s do the lock. Can you write it?’

‘What shall I put?’ Adam removed the cap of the marker with his teeth. ‘Adam and Star?’

He hadn’t called me Star for such a long time. It was being back here, the nostalgia making us feel nothing had changed when of course, everything had. More than he knew. Why couldn’t I just say it?

‘I think…’ I took a deep breath of salty air. The sun was dipping over the ocean, burning a fiery red ball into the centre of the sea. In the distance, a guitarist strummed a ballad. I couldn’t understand the Spanish words he was singing but I felt his emotions.

All of them.

I had wanted the perfect moment and it didn’t get more perfect than this. ‘I think you should write “Adam & Anna” but leave a space underneath.’

‘For a love heart?’

‘For another name.’

‘I don’t get it?’ His eyes drifted from my face, to the hand I had placed protectively over my stomach. ‘Do you… You’re not…’

‘I am.’

The sun shifted once more, the sky turning coral.