‘I’ll love you forever, Anna,’ he had said as he crouched before me. My flippancy had melted away as he kissed me long and hard. His hands unbuttoning my shirt. Fingers brushing against my flat stomach, feather light. Stupid but I had thought that I’d fall pregnant that night. It felt too perfect for it not to happen. Afterwards, Adam had tugged the throw from the back of the sofa and covered us and we had toasted our future with elderflower cordial. I’d been determined not to drink. Adam vowed to be alcohol-free in support.

‘What do you think of names?’ I had nestled against him.

‘I’m rather fond of them. It would be confusing if we didn’t have them.’

‘Idiot. How about Charlotte?’

‘Too formal. Iris?’ he had suggested.

‘Too old-fashioned. Harry?’

‘Too wizardy.’

I had pushed him.

‘Sorry,’ he had said, rubbing his shoulder. ‘That was your grandad’s name, wasn’t it?’

My phone began to ring, pulling me from that memory. It was Mum.

‘Hello, I was just thinking about you. Well, about Grandad.’

‘What about him?’ Mum asked.

‘About his name.’ As soon as I had said it, I kicked myself.

‘You’re thinking about names? Anything to tell me?’ Mum sounded so hopeful.

‘Mum. You know we’re not starting a family until I’m where I want to be in my career.’ It pained me every time I had lied to her over the past few years but I couldn’t face her disappointment each month, along with my own. I had never told her we were trying. I hadn’t told Nell. She was so busy with Alfie and Emily. Two children under five – she called it a nightmare, to me it was a dream.

‘Your dad would be proud of you being made Head of Year, but more than anything he’d want you to be happy. There is no right time to start a family, Anna.’

‘I know. We will one day, I prom—’

The slam of the front door saved me from making a promise I couldn’t keep.

‘Adam’s home. Can I call you back?’ I wanted to put the sleepsuit away before he came upstairs.

‘It’s okay. Nan just wanted me to tell you there’s a programme about a man who travelled the world on foot on BBC later. She thought Adam might enjoy it.’

‘Thanks.’ I had no intention of watching it. Adam didn’t need another reminder of the life he’d given up for me. He was no longer working in a travel agency but in the administration department of the council. He didn’t hate it but he didn’t love it either.