‘All pizza and beer,’ I had joked, but I didn’t mind that he’d gained a few pounds since we’d met.

When he had finished inflating the bed, I’d laid on it while he put the pump back in its box. Then he’d flopped down next to me. As he landed, his weight had propelled me into the air and across the room. My arms and legs flailed for something to grip but there was nothing. I had landed with a thud, face down on the carpet.

‘Anna!’ Adam’s hands had touched my heaving shoulders. ‘Are you okay? Please don’t cry—’

‘I’m not.’ I had rolled over, tears of mirth streaming down my face. ‘Best shape of your life…’ I had howled with laughter until my ribs ached.

‘It’s not because I’m fat that you went flying through the air, it’s… physics!’ He had said, but he was laughing too. ‘You never did understand science.’

I still don’t.

As I wander from room to room, I remember, I remember it all…

Texting Adam that I was wet and miserable after my first experience running with a local keep-fit group. When I had eventually staggered through the front door, he said, ‘Told you you’d hate it. Never mind, I’ve something that will warm you up.’ He had pushed a piece of paper into my hand. On it a sketch. ‘I’ve drawn you a bath!’ He laughed.

‘Thanks for nothing.’ Unamused, I had stomped up the stairs, into the bathroom. My eyes filling with grateful tears when I saw the steaming bubble bath waiting for me. The tea lights flickering on the windowsill. The glass of chilled wine on the edge of the basin.

Downstairs, I recall the time I had come home to find the kitchen in a state, and Adam’s face in a mixing bowl.

‘What on earth—’

‘Anna.’ He had looked up, his face dripping with milk. ‘I tried to make a curry but I got chilli seeds on my fingers and rubbed my face. It’s not funny. My eyes. My skin!’ He, too, was laughing. We had ended up with a takeaway.

As I sift through our time, instead of sadness and regret I feel a sense of gratitude for the years we were together.

That despite our ups and downs we were happy.

And this is what I take from the house as I lock the door behind me for the very last time, the knowledge that life isn’t always perfect – I am not always perfect – but there are times you have to fight for what you want, and times you have to let go.

Today I am doing both. I climb into the car where Josh and Nell are singing ‘The Wheels on The Bus’ to Harry.

‘I’m ready,’ I say, and instead of looking back as Josh pulls away, I keep my eyes fixed firmly forwards.