‘I take mine black.’ I lie. The wait has become unbearable. I need to know what happens within these four walls with the burgundy flocked wallpaper and too many secrets. Why Adam had either been here or was planning on coming here.

Nancy hands me my drink. I wrap my hands around the mug, trying to still the trembling in my fingers.

‘I lost my daughter,’ she says simply. Her words are steady, firm and instinctively I know she’s said them many times before. Her eyes are filled with pain. ‘That’s what led me here.’

I nod, but I don’t understand. I can’t. I’m shaking so hard I put down my mug.

‘Her father, he… he wasn’t around. I had no interest in another relationship. I had no interest in anything. It was three years after… after Lucy that my mum suggested I come here. It wasn’t that I wanted to replace her, but…’ Momentarily she closes her eyes while she inhales deeply through her nose before huffing out the air. ‘In the end I couldn’t do it, but I began to volunteer and… it was healing. Now I’m the manager but it’s more than a job, it’s a vocation and… it’s enough for me.’

She leans forward and takes my hands in hers. ‘Your husband… Adam. I don’t know why he wanted you to come here but the fact you’ve lost a child.’ She doesn’t finish her sentence. Again my eyes sweep the room for clues.

‘What is this place?’

‘It’s a children’s home.’

‘It can’t be.’ I draw my hands away from hers, looking around wildly for signs of children. Listening for sounds of children. There aren’t any.

‘They’re mostly all in school.’ Nancy senses my confusion. ‘We don’t put a sign outside because some of the children have come from difficult homes and we want to protect them. Give them some privacy. Some dignity back. You wouldn’t believe what some of these kids have been through. Wherever we can, we place them with new families, of course.’

‘I… I’m sorry.’ And I am. Sorry for her loss, sorry for the children who find themselves without stability, security, but most of all I’m sorry for myself. I had come here for answers but now all I have is more questions. Why did Adam lead me here? It makes no sense.

‘I…’ I trail off. I can’t speak. Can’t think. Can’t breathe. I stand up, my chair toppling back. I rush for the door. I have to get out of here. It was a mistake to come.

‘Anna!’ Nancy is seconds behind me but I don’t stop. My chest is in a vice. I don’t know what I expected to find but it wasn’t this.

My hand is on the front door handle when I hear it.

A cry.