‘It was like… not watching a movie but being in one. It wasn’t some elaborate fantasy in Adam’s mind where he was conquering Mount Everest or starring in Back to the Future, it was… normal. We were home. Eating biscuits in bed. He mentioned our holiday here but we hadn’t been on the yacht. It was as though we were living the life we would have if we hadn’t been on that trip. Nell, I… I was still pregnant.’

‘Oh, Anna. That sounds unbearably sad.’

‘It was.’ Spending time with Adam in a world I couldn’t stay in was excruciatingly painful, but oddly comforting too. It has unplugged something, making it easier to remember the good memories – and there are so many of them – before they became sullied and sharp from the years of trying for a child. Just that brief glimpse into the ordinary life that could have been ours has been enough to strengthen my resolve. Whatever happens with Adam, whatever care needs he might have, I will be steadfastly there for him, the way he has always been there for me.

‘Do you think…’ Nell slows down her speech and I know she is carefully choosing her words. ‘I know it must be tempting to want to do it again, but… I don’t know. Maybe you should quit while you’re ahead? You’ve seen something wonderful and next time…’

‘I know.’ There is a part of me that has thought the same thing. If I go back again, I’m risking spoiling the memories of the first time, but how can I not?

‘It’s a lot to cope with, Anna. Emotionally.’

‘I’m okay. Honestly.’ I was devastated when Oliver had brought me back, sorrowful and angry, but now, talking it through with Nell, remembering how it felt to lie next to Adam, elation is my overriding emotion. Excitement at doing it again. I am missing him horribly; not the Adam that lies in the bed being pumped full of nutrients but the Adam as he was, and now there’s a baby! All I ever wanted is so close and yet frustratingly out of reach. ‘I told Mum yesterday, not about the Institute but about the accident. Adam’s coma.’

‘How did she take it?’ Nell knows my mum doesn’t cope well.

‘She was amazing. She offered to fly out but I’ve told her to wait. Are you still coming back next week?’

‘Yep. Chris is taking over with the rug rats. I’ll be glad of a break actually. Oh God. I didn’t mean. Shit. Sorry. I know it’s not a holiday.’

‘Don’t worry about it.’ She’s tired and not thinking straight. I know how that feels.

‘Have you told Josh yet?’ she asks.

‘No.’ But I must. ‘I think I’ll do that now.’

‘Good luck. Love you, Anna.’

‘Love you too.’