Chapters (100)
- Cover
- About the Author
- Note to Readers
- Dedication
- Prologue
- Part One
- Chapter One
- Chapter Two
- Chapter Three
- Chapter Four
- Chapter Five
- Chapter Six
- Chapter Seven
- Chapter Eight
- Chapter Nine
- Chapter Ten
- Chapter Eleven
- Chapter Twelve
- Chapter Thirteen
- Part Two
- Chapter Fourteen
- Chapter Fifteen
- Chapter Sixteen
- Chapter Seventeen
- Chapter Eighteen
- Chapter Nineteen
- Chapter Twenty
- Chapter Twenty-One
- Chapter Twenty-Two
- Chapter Twenty-Three
- Chapter Twenty-Four
- Chapter Twenty-Five
- Chapter Twenty-Six
- Part Three
- Chapter Twenty-Seven
- Chapter Twenty-Eight
- Chapter Twenty-Nine
- Chapter Thirty
- Chapter Thirty-One
- Chapter Thirty-Two
- Chapter Thirty-Three
- Chapter Thirty-Four
- Chapter Thirty-Five
- Chapter Thirty-Six
- Part Four
- Chapter Thirty-Seven
- Chapter Thirty-Eight
- Chapter Thirty-Nine
- Chapter Forty
- Chapter Forty-One
- Chapter Forty-Two
- Chapter Forty-Three
- Chapter Forty-Four
- Chapter Forty-Five
- Chapter Forty-Six
- Chapter Forty-Seven
- Chapter Forty-Eight
- Chapter Forty-Nine
- Chapter Fifty
- Chapter Fifty-One
- Chapter Fifty-Two
- Chapter Fifty-Three
- Chapter Fifty-Four
- Chapter Fifty-Five
- Chapter Fifty-Six
- Chapter Fifty-Seven
- Chapter Fifty-Eight
- Chapter Fifty-Nine
- Chapter Sixty
- Chapter Sixty-One
- Chapter Sixty-Two
- Chapter Sixty-Three
- Chapter Sixty-Four
- Chapter Sixty-Five
- Chapter Sixty-Six
- Chapter Sixty-Seven
- Chapter Sixty-Eight
- Chapter Sixty-Nine
- Chapter Seventy
- Chapter Seventy-One
- Chapter Seventy-Two
- Chapter Seventy-Three
- Chapter Seventy-Four
- Chapter Seventy-Five
- Chapter Seventy-Six
- Part Five
- Chapter Seventy-Seven
- Chapter Seventy-Eight
- Chapter Seventy-Nine
- Chapter Eighty
- Part Six
- Chapter Eighty-One
- Chapter Eighty-Two
- Chapter Eighty-Three
- Author’s Note
- Book Club Questions for The Life We Almost Had
- Acknowledgements
- Extract
- Chapter One
- About the Publisher
‘I… I was pregnant today, when I went back. About seven or eight months, I think.’
Oliver processes this for a moment.
‘I didn’t tell you earlier because… it’s personal. My life and yet,’ she shakes her head, ‘it isn’t my life.’ She sweeps her arm around the room. ‘This is my reality unfortunately.’
‘If I could change things for you, I would.’
Their food arrives and the conversation lightens to the tourist attractions on the island. Anna tells him about the lava caves she had visited with Adam when they first met.
‘Have you been?’
‘No,’ Oliver says. ‘I’m a bit all work and no play, I’m afraid.’
‘It was incredible. Each one was a themed room with furniture and everything. All underground. There was even a dance floor.’
‘Ah, now I definitely won’t go. Nobody needs to see me dancing. Clem said I resembled somebody with their finger stuck in a plug socket.’ He makes jerky movements with his arms. ‘Adam thinks he’s Kevin Bacon in Footloose,’ Anna smiles.
‘Stick on the soundtrack and he’ll be up there doing his thing.’
‘I’ve never seen that film,’ Oliver admits.
‘Adam would be horrified to hear that. He’s obsessed with Eighties music and movies.’
They finish eating, lingering over coffee.
‘So…’ Anna looks at him intently. ‘Can we… can I take part in the trial again?’
‘I don’t know, Anna. I should probably take it back to development stage and check everything is safe. Something isn’t right with the computer not recording and then there’s your nosebleed and headache.’
‘How long would that take?’ Anna asks.
‘Months.’ Oliver wants to be truthful.
‘It may be too late for Adam then. For me. Oliver… I was pregnant.’
‘I think perhaps we could try again, but this time I have to be the one taking part.’
‘No! Oliver, you promised I could try.’
‘And you have, Anna. I need to see for myself.’
Emotions slide across Anna’s face. ‘I appreciate you’ve spent years working towards this and of course you want to try it but… not yet. Soon, but I’m still adjusting to all of this. It’s okay for you. Science is your job. Your passion. You understand its capabilities. A few days ago, I didn’t know anything about consciousness and Adam, he isn’t… he isn’t just a subject to me. Today seems like a dream almost. I want to do it again.’
‘Anna, I think I made a mistake letting you try. I didn’t think about the effect it would have on you mentally, when you had to stop.’
‘But you did consider that on some level. You wouldn’t have insisted on me seeing Eva otherwise. You’re a good man.’
Is he? Oliver wonders if he was just following procedure. Ticking boxes. There is no checklist for morality. Was he playing God?