‘Oh God. You’re not going to cry again, are you? Christ, woman, we’ll never be able to go anywhere because we’ll have spent all our savings on bloody tissues.’

‘No, I’m not going to cry.’ I take a deep breath. ‘We can go anywhere you want to, Adam. Do anything.’

‘You hear that, Percy?’ He lifts the parrot to eye level. ‘A world trip awaits us. In the meantime, Mrs Curtis…’ He waggles his eyebrows and I feel frisson of excitement. A desire to be touched.

‘Yes, Mr Curtis.’

‘I’m going to finish this chapter before we go to sleep.’ He twists around and picks a kindle up from his bedside table.

‘Adam…’ I feel incredibly sad for every mean thing I’ve ever said. Incredibly regretful. ‘Why don’t you read a paperback tonight?’

‘Are you kidding me? You’ve converted me to e-readers now. I love that you fall asleep on me and I don’t have to worry my light is keeping you awake.’ He turns and clicks off his lamp and I do the same. He wriggles an arm under my shoulders and I mould my body around his. By the glow of his kindle I study his face, the movement of his eyes as he scans the page, the twitch of a smile.

It’s a perfect, perfect moment until it’s spoiled by Oliver’s voice, deep and cutting.

‘I’m going to bring you back now, Anna.’ Panic bites. I want to remain in this make-believe world where the accident never happened, where our holiday continued without tragedy, I didn’t lose our baby and everything is as it would have been in the life we almost had.

Ten

I hold Adam’s hand tighter as though I can prevent the glue holding us together from becoming unstuck.

Nine

As though I can somehow prevent Oliver bringing me back.

Eight

Adam.

Seven

Anna?

Six

My lips press against his skin.

Five

I love you, I whisper.

Four

I love you too. He turns back to his book.

Three

Oliver, don’t make me leave him.

Two

Don’t bring me back.

One

The air is cooler as I am brought out of the scanner. The goggles are lifted from my face, the headphones from my ears. I twist my head to see Adam’s motionless body beside me.

I begin to cry.

It takes a few minutes for the dizzying sickness to pass and then I sit up. There’s a throbbing in my head. Blood streaking from my nose and Luis dabs at it with a tissue. Sofia presses a glass of water into my hand and I take a sip.

Oliver tries to be patient but he can’t help firing questions at me I am not yet ready to answer. I want to be alone. To hold the pictures that are fading too fast from my mind and cherish them.