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Chapters (103)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. BEFORE
  5. PEYOTE
  6. PART I
  7. PEYOTE
  8. LILY
  9. PEYOTE
  10. MICKEY
  11. PEYOTE
  12. MICKEY
  13. PEYOTE
  14. SILAS
  15. PEYOTE
  16. MICKEY
  17. LILY
  18. PEYOTE
  19. MICKEY
  20. PEYOTE
  21. LILY
  22. PEYOTE
  23. MICKEY
  24. PEYOTE
  25. PART II
  26. LILY
  27. PEYOTE
  28. SILAS
  29. PEYOTE
  30. MICKEY
  31. PEYOTE
  32. MICKEY
  33. LILY
  34. PEYOTE
  35. SILAS
  36. PEYOTE
  37. LILY
  38. PEYOTE
  39. MICKEY
  40. PEYOTE
  41. LILY
  42. MICKEY
  43. PEYOTE
  44. SILAS
  45. PEYOTE
  46. MICKEY
  47. PEYOTE
  48. LILY
  49. PEYOTE
  50. SILAS
  51. PEYOTE
  52. MICKEY
  53. PEYOTE
  54. SILAS
  55. PEYOTE
  56. LILY
  57. PEYOTE
  58. SILAS
  59. PEYOTE
  60. LILY
  61. PEYOTE
  62. MICKEY
  63. LILY
  64. PEYOTE
  65. PART III
  66. LILY
  67. PEYOTE
  68. LILY
  69. PEYOTE
  70. LILY
  71. PEYOTE
  72. MICKEY
  73. PEYOTE
  74. LILY
  75. PEYOTE
  76. MICKEY
  77. PEYOTE
  78. SILAS
  79. PEYOTE
  80. MICKEY
  81. PEYOTE
  82. LILY
  83. PEYOTE
  84. LILY
  85. PEYOTE
  86. MICKEY
  87. PEYOTE
  88. SILAS
  89. PEYOTE
  90. SILAS
  91. LILY
  92. SILAS
  93. PHILIP
  94. PEYOTE
  95. LILY
  96. PEYOTE
  97. LILY
  98. PEYOTE
  99. AFTER
  100. PEYOTE
  101. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  102. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  103. What’s next onyour reading list?

She thought again about Gavin’s message. She liked being missed, she thought as she reached, despite herself, to sweep the needles free from Silas’s brow.

“Thanks,” she said, turning toward the house. “This was fun.”

Like most broken marriages, theirs hadn’t broken all at once. Instead, it became gnarled the way wind gnarls a tree on a cliff— with quiet pressure, relentlessly the same. And she knew, the way the tree that strains at a sharper and sharper angle knows, that a thing can grow even under terrible circumstances, but that doesn’t mean it should.

“Wait, Lil,” he said. “One quick thing.”

She turned around and pushed her hair behind her ear so she could see him clearly, aglow against the setting sun over the lake.

“Is the Gavin you’re fucking Sarah Kelly’s brother?”

PEYOTE

ornament

EVAN WAS THE FIRST Harrison to surprise me. The three before him came naturally to their fate, hungry but never humbled by it. They wanted money, power, a name that would carry on—lives lived in homage. The bread and butter of the Deals Department. But Evan was different.

Evan was the first Harrison I knew to make a deal for the sake of another.

When Evan called for me seventeen years ago, it was raining. Or maybe it had stopped raining by then, or hadn’t started yet. I don’t remember. I just know the air was all juicy and dark, a drunk kiss of a night. When I arrived, he had a cup of tea ready.

“How can I help you, Evan?” I asked.

“You know me?”

“You can assume I know everything.”

Evan rolled his shoulders, his hands steepled around his tea.

“I’m prepared to make a deal with you, but I have one question first. Can I trust that you will answer me honestly? Do you know how to do that?”

There was something about being in front of Evan after watching him for so long—it was kind of like meeting the actor who played your favorite character. You’ve been thinking about them as yours to watch, to know. You never wonder what they would think of you. I understand why: it hits all the harder when they don’t like what they see.

“Yes, Evan. I’m familiar with the concept of honesty. I can do that.”

Evan nodded, his eyes down. The crickets outside made a blanket of sound like we were being tucked in real tight.

“How did you know about me?”

Evan smiled, and I saw the way the wrinkles around his eyes worked. They weren’t there to tally time. They were there to give his face the necessary room to transform, to blossom.

“You are famous in our family,” he said. For someone who leaned on the “famous” line like crutches at the time, it reached my blood much too quickly.

“Well,” I said, shifting. “That’s—”