Back Sign Here Save as PDF
Chapters (103)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. BEFORE
  5. PEYOTE
  6. PART I
  7. PEYOTE
  8. LILY
  9. PEYOTE
  10. MICKEY
  11. PEYOTE
  12. MICKEY
  13. PEYOTE
  14. SILAS
  15. PEYOTE
  16. MICKEY
  17. LILY
  18. PEYOTE
  19. MICKEY
  20. PEYOTE
  21. LILY
  22. PEYOTE
  23. MICKEY
  24. PEYOTE
  25. PART II
  26. LILY
  27. PEYOTE
  28. SILAS
  29. PEYOTE
  30. MICKEY
  31. PEYOTE
  32. MICKEY
  33. LILY
  34. PEYOTE
  35. SILAS
  36. PEYOTE
  37. LILY
  38. PEYOTE
  39. MICKEY
  40. PEYOTE
  41. LILY
  42. MICKEY
  43. PEYOTE
  44. SILAS
  45. PEYOTE
  46. MICKEY
  47. PEYOTE
  48. LILY
  49. PEYOTE
  50. SILAS
  51. PEYOTE
  52. MICKEY
  53. PEYOTE
  54. SILAS
  55. PEYOTE
  56. LILY
  57. PEYOTE
  58. SILAS
  59. PEYOTE
  60. LILY
  61. PEYOTE
  62. MICKEY
  63. LILY
  64. PEYOTE
  65. PART III
  66. LILY
  67. PEYOTE
  68. LILY
  69. PEYOTE
  70. LILY
  71. PEYOTE
  72. MICKEY
  73. PEYOTE
  74. LILY
  75. PEYOTE
  76. MICKEY
  77. PEYOTE
  78. SILAS
  79. PEYOTE
  80. MICKEY
  81. PEYOTE
  82. LILY
  83. PEYOTE
  84. LILY
  85. PEYOTE
  86. MICKEY
  87. PEYOTE
  88. SILAS
  89. PEYOTE
  90. SILAS
  91. LILY
  92. SILAS
  93. PHILIP
  94. PEYOTE
  95. LILY
  96. PEYOTE
  97. LILY
  98. PEYOTE
  99. AFTER
  100. PEYOTE
  101. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  102. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  103. What’s next onyour reading list?

Ruth laughed as if Mickey hadn’t spoken. “Well, I have a confession to make.”

“What?”

“I always wanted you to be the one to find me.”

Ruth’s fingers went from Mickey’s collarbone up her jaw to her lips, and then she leaned in until talking was nearly the same as kissing.

“Want to play again?”

Mickey had never been in love before. Not with anyone besides Robin Hood—Disney’s fox version. All of that was still ahead of her. But she thought at this moment that maybe she was falling in love for the first time. Not in the way some girls fall in love with other girls; she didn’t want to make Ruth her girlfriend. She wanted to be inside her, but not like that. She wanted to occupy her, to live in her skin. To live in a body that knew what it was doing. A body that could move without burning from the inside, as if someone were narrating her every move over a loudspeaker.

So when she answered yes, she meant it.

LILY

ornament

OUT ON THE LAWN, Lily saw cans lined up along the wooden ledge, nails still holding strong. He had planned ahead. To her surprise, it made her happy. Giddy, almost. She always loved the way Silas knew exactly what he was doing. It felt like discovering inconsistencies in her favorite television series, finding evidence of his effort under all that cool. It’s what made her fall in love with him in the first place. The cool, sure; but, even more so, the glimpses of the work that built it.

“Want to make this interesting?” she asked as she took the gun from Silas. She hadn’t forgotten the flower on the table, the threat of it. But she was well versed in living between the forgotten and the feared.

“Thompson!” Silas whooped, followed by a slow clap. “You haven’t been a gambler in ages.”

“Well, it’s vacation, isn’t it?”

She pulled her hair into one fist and cinched it into an elastic. She could feel Silas’s eyes on her shoulders, her neck. And for the first time in a long time, she found that she liked it. They weren’t talking about the kids or the house, the minute details of the present, or the looming obstacles of the future. They were talking the way they used to talk, before all that.

“Do you remember how to shoot?”

Lily laughed and held the gun up so it rested in the crook of her shoulder. “I have a feeling it will come back to me.”

She squinted down the sights and took a breath, squeezing the trigger with her exhale. She heard a pop and felt the nudge of the gun, but the cans didn’t move.

“Look who got cocky,” Silas said, grinning. “I guess I should’ve placed that bet.”

“Hey, the day is still young! I’m just warming up.”