“Oh, what? You’re confused? It’s not that hard to figure out, you know. Just check your pants.”

Did you learn that from watching your mom? It was a decent—albeit unimaginative—comeback, but she couldn’t get it out. She flushed with anger, her eyes on the grass as she picked up her soccer ball and balanced it under her arm. Eliot took a step toward her, high on the other girls’ laughter, and threw out his elbow, knocking the ball from her grasp. Mickey looked back at the coach, but he was on the field with the ref, not paying any attention to them. The day was over; he was off the clock.

“Move,” Mickey said.

“Apologize for hurting—” Eliot stopped and looked back at the bench, holding out his hand to the girl with the training-wheel tits.

“Steph,” she said.

“Apologize to Steph.”

“Sorry,” Mickey mumbled, even though she hated herself for saying it. She didn’t mean it, and Mickey wasn’t a liar. Her grandpa taught her not to be.

“Check the bathroom on your way out,” Eliot said. “See if you’re playing for the right team.” Laughter followed Mickey off the field and out of earshot. Yet she could still hear it well after the group had moved on to other things, had forgotten all about her.

PEYOTE

“PEY, GET YOUR ASS in gear. Morning meeting,” KQ said, slamming her hand against my cubicle so hard, I spilled coffee down my shirt. “And clean yourself up; you look like the poor fucks in the blender aisle.”

To be clear, Hell is not a department store. When she says “blender aisle,” she means the aisle in the Downstairs in which people are put through blenders.

“Good morning, shitstuffers,” KQ said as we all took our seats. “I’m looking at our numbers, and they are a pile of crap.”

Even though I knew she wouldn’t, I still felt a drop of disappointment that she didn’t remark on my deal yesterday.

“Not a pile—they are an anthill of crap. A teaspoon. So, seeing as whatever it is you’re doing on your own isn’t working, I’m going to try something new.” KQ kicked her feet onto the table. “Look to your left, and then to your right. Who do you see?”

I didn’t bother looking to my left; I knew Trey was there. I could smell his cologne and coffee-tinged breath mints. I looked to my right and caught Cal’s eye.

“These people will be your partners this week. Work together and wow me!” KQ said as she squeezed something out of one big toenail and flicked it on the carpet.

“Um, ma’am?” Cal said.

I winced. That wasn’t smart.

“What did you just call me?”

“I’m sorry, I was just trying to be—”

“Insulting? Obnoxious?”

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”