Chapters (174)
- Content Warning
- A Note to Readers on my Choice of Language
- Dedication
- Prologue
- SJ
- 1. Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Jemma
- 2. Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- SJ
- 3. Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Jemma
- 4. Dinner and a Devilish Show
- Dinner and a Devilish Show
- SJ
- 5. Messages from FriendPay
- Messages from FriendPay
- Jemma
- 6. First Date with a New Soul
- First Date with a New Soul
- SJ
- 7. Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Jemma
- 8. No Pressure …
- No Pressure …
- SJ
- 9. Mount Those Horns of His
- Mount Those Horns of His
- Jemma
- 10. A Soft Spot for Mice
- A Soft Spot for Mice
- SJ
- 11. Date Faking
- Date Faking
- Jemma
- 12. Spicy Girl Dreams
- Spicy Girl Dreams
- SJ
- 13. Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Jemma
- 14. Ratty-Man
- Ratty-Man
- SJ
- 15. Sordid Bathroom Romps
- Sordid Bathroom Romps
- SJ
- 16. An Outright Lie
- An Outright Lie
- Jemma
- 17. Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- SJ
- 18. Ferretcon
- Ferretcon
- Jemma
- 19. Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Jemma
- 20. It’s a Date, Big Boy
- It’s a Date, Big Boy
- SJ
- 21. The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- Jemma
- 22. Distracted by Other Parts
- Distracted by Other Parts
- SJ
- 23. My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- Jemma
- 24. A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- SJ
- 25. Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Jemma
- 26. That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- SJ
- 27. Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- SJ
- 28. Pesky Feelings
- Pesky Feelings
- Jemma
- 29. A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- SJ
- 30. Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Jemma
- 31. Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Jemma
- 32. Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- SJ
- 33. Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Jemma
- 34. Dare You
- Dare You
- SJ
- 35. Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Jemma
- 36. Mystical Semen
- Mystical Semen
- SJ
- 37. A Goner for the Son of Satan
- A Goner for the Son of Satan
- Jemma
- 38. An Unnecessary Attachment
- An Unnecessary Attachment
- SJ
- 39. A Leaf Out of Her Book
- A Leaf Out of Her Book
- SJ
- 40. Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Jemma
- 41. Devils Don’t Cry
- Devils Don’t Cry
- SJ
- 42. He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- Jemma
- 43. Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- SJ
- 44. It’s a Grand Gesture
- It’s a Grand Gesture
- Jemma
- 45. Permanently in Purgatory
- Permanently in Purgatory
- SJ
- 46. Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Jemma
- 47. The B Team Strikes Again
- The B Team Strikes Again
- SJ
- 48. Not My Nightmare
- Not My Nightmare
- Jemma
- 49. Hold On, Mouse
- Hold On, Mouse
- SJ
- 50. My Heroic Devil
- My Heroic Devil
- Jemma
- 51. Not a Religious Celebrity
- Not a Religious Celebrity
- SJ
- 52. The Devil I Know
- The Devil I Know
- SJ
- 53. Let Them See
- Let Them See
- Jemma
- 54. I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- SJ
- Epilogue: Not Quite One Year Later
- Jemma
- And … Another Epilogue
- SJ
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Layla Pine
- About Layla
I shrugged. “I … needed some fresh air?”
He raised a disbelieving eyebrow.
“Anyway, who wants to talk about my boring, utterly stock standard Saturday night?” I said in a rush, standing and trotting over to him, poking him in the stomach. “I’m not the one who went on a hot date last night and didn’t come home until after lunch!”
Ezra tried to hold onto his stern facade. That lasted for all of a millisecond before a bashful grin split his adorably freckled face, and he pulled me into a cuddle. “I really, really like him, Jem!”
“Well, I knew that already, your tongue was tied in a knot the first time you met him! So …” I sat down, shoving my crocheting aside, and patted the seat beside me with a smirk. “Did you get any stem-in-vase action?”
He bit his lip, shaking his head and collapsing into the seat beside me. “I actually like him too much to rush into … that … but we did get a bit tongue-tied together last night … and again this morning.”
I giggled. “Oooh, I’m already picturing the wedding! Can Luci be your flower girl?” I half teased. A little niggle twinged in the pit of my stomach, but I ignored it.
Ezra deserved to find someone. Even if it took him away from me.
“She would look absolutely stunning in a little pink Cinderella gown. Handmade by you, of course!”
“And … I’ll be your best bitch, yes?” I asked.
He smiled softly down at me, pulling me back into his lanky arms. “You will always be my best bitch, Jem. Now, I need to shower, and then we need to hit the supermarket, because that fridge is not filling itself!”
The front door rattled again.
I shot to my feet, heart leaping into my throat, but Ezra was already up and striding towards the door.
Oh shit.
What if it was … him? There was no way in … in Hell that I needed to be explaining this to Ezra. I’d gotten myself into one giant pickle, and the last thing I needed was to get my best friend caught up in it, too!
“You go shower, I’ll see to that,” I babbled.
Ezra’s nose wrinkled, confused. “Don’t be ridiculous, it’s on the way to the bathroom!”
He took another step towards the front door, and another.
“Don’t answer it!” I shrieked, launching myself over my giant yarn basket with the agility of a show-jumping mare, galloping to put myself between the door and Ezra.
He pulled up just shy of running into me. “What is going on with you, Jem?” he asked, his brow knitted in concern. “You hate answering the door.”
“I … I’m, uh, expecting a delivery. You know, a surprise … for you.”
“Oh,” he said, blinking. His head turned to the small key table beside the door, and his brows rose. “Where’s the vase you bought from Humphrey?”