Chapters (174)
- Content Warning
- A Note to Readers on my Choice of Language
- Dedication
- Prologue
- SJ
- 1. Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Jemma
- 2. Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- SJ
- 3. Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Jemma
- 4. Dinner and a Devilish Show
- Dinner and a Devilish Show
- SJ
- 5. Messages from FriendPay
- Messages from FriendPay
- Jemma
- 6. First Date with a New Soul
- First Date with a New Soul
- SJ
- 7. Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Jemma
- 8. No Pressure …
- No Pressure …
- SJ
- 9. Mount Those Horns of His
- Mount Those Horns of His
- Jemma
- 10. A Soft Spot for Mice
- A Soft Spot for Mice
- SJ
- 11. Date Faking
- Date Faking
- Jemma
- 12. Spicy Girl Dreams
- Spicy Girl Dreams
- SJ
- 13. Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Jemma
- 14. Ratty-Man
- Ratty-Man
- SJ
- 15. Sordid Bathroom Romps
- Sordid Bathroom Romps
- SJ
- 16. An Outright Lie
- An Outright Lie
- Jemma
- 17. Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- SJ
- 18. Ferretcon
- Ferretcon
- Jemma
- 19. Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Jemma
- 20. It’s a Date, Big Boy
- It’s a Date, Big Boy
- SJ
- 21. The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- Jemma
- 22. Distracted by Other Parts
- Distracted by Other Parts
- SJ
- 23. My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- Jemma
- 24. A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- SJ
- 25. Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Jemma
- 26. That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- SJ
- 27. Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- SJ
- 28. Pesky Feelings
- Pesky Feelings
- Jemma
- 29. A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- SJ
- 30. Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Jemma
- 31. Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Jemma
- 32. Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- SJ
- 33. Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Jemma
- 34. Dare You
- Dare You
- SJ
- 35. Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Jemma
- 36. Mystical Semen
- Mystical Semen
- SJ
- 37. A Goner for the Son of Satan
- A Goner for the Son of Satan
- Jemma
- 38. An Unnecessary Attachment
- An Unnecessary Attachment
- SJ
- 39. A Leaf Out of Her Book
- A Leaf Out of Her Book
- SJ
- 40. Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Jemma
- 41. Devils Don’t Cry
- Devils Don’t Cry
- SJ
- 42. He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- Jemma
- 43. Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- SJ
- 44. It’s a Grand Gesture
- It’s a Grand Gesture
- Jemma
- 45. Permanently in Purgatory
- Permanently in Purgatory
- SJ
- 46. Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Jemma
- 47. The B Team Strikes Again
- The B Team Strikes Again
- SJ
- 48. Not My Nightmare
- Not My Nightmare
- Jemma
- 49. Hold On, Mouse
- Hold On, Mouse
- SJ
- 50. My Heroic Devil
- My Heroic Devil
- Jemma
- 51. Not a Religious Celebrity
- Not a Religious Celebrity
- SJ
- 52. The Devil I Know
- The Devil I Know
- SJ
- 53. Let Them See
- Let Them See
- Jemma
- 54. I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- SJ
- Epilogue: Not Quite One Year Later
- Jemma
- And … Another Epilogue
- SJ
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Layla Pine
- About Layla
“This is a pretty crummy abode!” Beezle commented. I turned to shush him when he stooped to scoop up a discarded, mouldering, crumbly, half-eaten … something into his mouth. “Get it? Crummy … crumby?”
The thing in his mouth disintegrated all over the worn, uneven floors.
Both the Hounds fell into howling laughter.
“It’s very lucky no one else can hear you,” I hissed. “We’re supposed to be incognito right now!”
The door Jemma had slumped through not five minutes before slammed open. Holding my breath, we all melted back into the shadows.
The red-haired man stuck his head out. “Anyone there?” he demanded, his expression dubious. After what felt like an eternity of holding my breath, he turned back into the apartment.
“There’s no one there, Jem. I think you’re hearing things,” he called out, the door shutting and the lock snicking into place behind him.
I glared at the Hellhounds, who looked ready to roll about in fits of mirth once more.
“Don’t even think about it,” I warned, my blood throbbing.
My instincts told me that her soul would be weakest tonight. That the grape juice she had bought would make her extra susceptible to … suggestion.
“We do this tonight,” I whispered to the Hounds, who immediately sat up straighter, ears pricked, eyes bright. Ready for anything. “I need you both inside, reporting back to me. I’ll make the rest happen.”
“Yes, Boss!” they yipped in unison, and before my eyes, their canine bodies morphed, shrank. Fur became a scaly exoskeleton. More legs sprouted.
Two small, black cockroaches scuttled away, slipping under the door to Apartment Thirteen. I settled myself in the shadows, closing my eyes. I had a lot of plotting to do in a very short space of time if I wanted this to work.
I needed this to work.
Jemma Bliss didn’t know it yet, but her soul belonged to me.
5. Messages from FriendPay
Chapter 5
Messages from FriendPay
Jemma
“Bugger it!”
I squinted down at the living room floor. Was it … moving? It looked like it was breathing.
“All wine and no donut make Jemma go something something,” I mumbled, a giggle bubbling up my throat. It stopped halfway, becoming a big, miserable lump.
Because Dad wasn’t around anymore to reply with, “Go crazy?”
When I was little, my dad introduced me to The Simpsons. It had become a special daddy-daughter event, sitting together on a Friday night, watching reruns on cable TV. My favourites had always been the Treehouse of Horrors episodes. Anything to do with frights, thrills and monsters, I just ate it up as a kid.