“Holy shit. Was that real?” I squinted back towards the coffee table. There was no cinnamon donut box. I shook my head, then winced at the way my vision swam.

I’d dreamed it. I’d been craving those darn things so hard last night that I’d imagined up some weird heart’s desire delivery service, and I’d hallucinated a giant box of my favourite donuts.

“That’s really quite sad,” I muttered, rubbing at the hollow ache in my chest. “I …”

I looked down. My t-shirt was covered in granulated sugar. I pinched the fabric, brought it to my lips. My tongue darted out to taste.

Cinnamon.

“Oookaaaay,” I drawled, pinching the bridge of my nose so I could think without the headache being too overpowering. Trying to replay the night before.

“Thai food … cockroaches … Ezra’s texts …” My head snapped up. I winced through the hangover and hurried over to my phone.

There had been those weird texts from … what was it … FriendPay?

My phone screen was black.

“Shit.” I staggered back to the kitchen, plugging it into the charger. Returning to the living room, I wondered if I’d somehow knocked the box behind the sofa. I just needed some form of proof that I wasn’t going completely insane.

No box.

But there was a little, black business card with a vibrant, rainbow logo on it. I leaned down and plucked it up.

In a rush of heat, the floor beneath me disappeared.

6. First Date with a New Soul

Chapter 6

First Date with a New Soul

SJ

“Hellish shit!” I muttered, scrubbing a hand over my face, staring up at the swirling portal in the ceiling of my chambers. “It worked!”

“Of course it worked, Boss!” Bub yipped, his tail slapping against my leg. “It was such a good plan!”

“Yeah, our great, smart, ingenious plan!” Beezle added.

I did not even bother to argue with them. My stomach was a frisson of nerves. She was on her way here. To Hell. Via a portal.

I looked down at my devilish self. “Should I … do you think I should switch to my human form?” I asked my beasts.

“Naw!” Bub barked. “Check Boss out, getting all worked up over which skin suit to wear for his first date with a new soul!”

I sighed. “She’ll be here any minute, hurry up and help me!”

They cocked their heads to the side in unison. Bub’s tongue lolled out of his mouth.

“Well, on one hand … you’ll frighten her way worse if you’re a big, burly devil …” Beezle began thoughtfully.

“But,” Bub added. “The look on her face when she arrives in Hell and sees the ‘douchey, smirking gargantuan’ who stole her donuts …”

Beezle panted excitedly. “Ooh yeah! Do that, do that!”