Chapters (174)
- Content Warning
- A Note to Readers on my Choice of Language
- Dedication
- Prologue
- SJ
- 1. Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Jemma
- 2. Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- SJ
- 3. Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Jemma
- 4. Dinner and a Devilish Show
- Dinner and a Devilish Show
- SJ
- 5. Messages from FriendPay
- Messages from FriendPay
- Jemma
- 6. First Date with a New Soul
- First Date with a New Soul
- SJ
- 7. Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Jemma
- 8. No Pressure …
- No Pressure …
- SJ
- 9. Mount Those Horns of His
- Mount Those Horns of His
- Jemma
- 10. A Soft Spot for Mice
- A Soft Spot for Mice
- SJ
- 11. Date Faking
- Date Faking
- Jemma
- 12. Spicy Girl Dreams
- Spicy Girl Dreams
- SJ
- 13. Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Jemma
- 14. Ratty-Man
- Ratty-Man
- SJ
- 15. Sordid Bathroom Romps
- Sordid Bathroom Romps
- SJ
- 16. An Outright Lie
- An Outright Lie
- Jemma
- 17. Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- SJ
- 18. Ferretcon
- Ferretcon
- Jemma
- 19. Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Jemma
- 20. It’s a Date, Big Boy
- It’s a Date, Big Boy
- SJ
- 21. The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- Jemma
- 22. Distracted by Other Parts
- Distracted by Other Parts
- SJ
- 23. My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- Jemma
- 24. A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- SJ
- 25. Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Jemma
- 26. That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- SJ
- 27. Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- SJ
- 28. Pesky Feelings
- Pesky Feelings
- Jemma
- 29. A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- SJ
- 30. Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Jemma
- 31. Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Jemma
- 32. Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- SJ
- 33. Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Jemma
- 34. Dare You
- Dare You
- SJ
- 35. Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Jemma
- 36. Mystical Semen
- Mystical Semen
- SJ
- 37. A Goner for the Son of Satan
- A Goner for the Son of Satan
- Jemma
- 38. An Unnecessary Attachment
- An Unnecessary Attachment
- SJ
- 39. A Leaf Out of Her Book
- A Leaf Out of Her Book
- SJ
- 40. Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Jemma
- 41. Devils Don’t Cry
- Devils Don’t Cry
- SJ
- 42. He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- Jemma
- 43. Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- SJ
- 44. It’s a Grand Gesture
- It’s a Grand Gesture
- Jemma
- 45. Permanently in Purgatory
- Permanently in Purgatory
- SJ
- 46. Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Jemma
- 47. The B Team Strikes Again
- The B Team Strikes Again
- SJ
- 48. Not My Nightmare
- Not My Nightmare
- Jemma
- 49. Hold On, Mouse
- Hold On, Mouse
- SJ
- 50. My Heroic Devil
- My Heroic Devil
- Jemma
- 51. Not a Religious Celebrity
- Not a Religious Celebrity
- SJ
- 52. The Devil I Know
- The Devil I Know
- SJ
- 53. Let Them See
- Let Them See
- Jemma
- 54. I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- SJ
- Epilogue: Not Quite One Year Later
- Jemma
- And … Another Epilogue
- SJ
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Layla Pine
- About Layla
“She does not,” I managed. Something else was lurching in my middle area at the thought of Jemma Bliss’s face when she discovered who had ‘popped in’ for a visit.
“Oh, you’re surprising her? That’s such a romantic gesture! What’s your name again?”
“I didn’t tell you my name.”
No human had ever asked my name before. Not even Jemma Bliss. But I suppose my only interaction with her before I revealed my true nature had not been the type where we would casually exchange names and pleasantries.
“No … you didn’t,” she remarked, then stuck her hand out to me. “I’m Sally. It’s lovely to meet you …?”
I stared at her hand. What was she doing? Did she … want me to shake her hand?
My chest constricted at the thought, sweat prickling at the back of my neck.
“You’re getting very slippery back here, Boss,” Beezle grumbled.
“My name is …” I mumbled, wracking my brain for a name … any name that would pass for a human one. “I’m …”
“Simeon,” Bub’s tiny voice whispered behind my earlobe.
“Simeon,” I repeated dutifully.
The Hounds’ claws dug into me. I could picture them throwing back their heads and cackling little rodent cackles.
Simeon … Simeon?
Where the bloody home had they picked that name up from?
Sally looked down at her proffered hand and then up at me, confusion on her face. Thankfully the box halted, and the silver doors slid apart, distracting her from my refusal to engage. Was this hand business considered a normal human greeting? Because in Hell, it meant something very different.
“I’ll just sign you in, get you a visitor pass, and we can go surprise her!” she giggled, trotting out of the box. “Oooh, I can’t wait to see Jemma’s face when you walk in!”
“Neither can I,” I muttered, my chest getting tight as I followed her.
11. Date Faking
Chapter 11
Date Faking
Jemma
“That’s the way! Take it out on the canvas.”
My voice was almost sickeningly upbeat as I rubbed Ellie’s back. She flicked the paintbrush again, sending a violent splatter of red across the canvas.
Ellie, her mouth tight and her face far too pale, flicked again and again and again. Blotches of black and red and orange slowly filled the giant canvas. She stopped, reaching under her palm print turban to scratch at her scalp.
I swallowed heavily. She was doing it to surreptitiously wipe away the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.
I hated when they got bad news. But at least I could help her get those angry, hurting, scared feelings out.
Faith and Harper were using their canvases in more traditional ways. Faith was painting something vaguely pop-art, with loads of pink.
“I’m loving the colours, Faith, that’s quite the aesthetic!”