“Don’t you dare corrupt my sweet boyfriend, Jemma Bliss,” Ezra warned, tapping away at my phone. I sat on my hands because they were shaking. What was he writing?

He tossed it back to me, and heart in throat, I read.

Jemma: So … have you made it to the part where he uses his tongue on both her downstairs holes yet?

“Ugh! Her downstairs holes? Are we twelve?”

Ezra raised his eyebrows. “I would sincerely hope twelve-year-olds wouldn’t understand anything about tongues and downstairs holes.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I think you fail to recognise just how internet-savvy tweens are these days. But in any case⁠—”

I snapped my mouth shut when the phone zapped me.

FiendPay: Well I am going to go looking for that part now!

“What does it say?” Ezra demanded.

I fought back the giddiness, and lost entirely. “He’s going to go find that part right now!”

“Ooooh, see? The power of porn will unite you!”

I threw the cushion at Ezra.

“But this still doesn’t really solve the problem of my soul …” I muttered around the straw of my sangria.

“But it’s a start,” Humphrey argued. “Rome wasn’t built in a day. We have to make him realise he’s fallen for you. Stealing your soul will be so much harder when he’s in love with you.”

“He hasn’t fallen for me! He’s⁠—”

A frantic pounding on the door stopped us all in our tracks.

“Oh my GOD!” Humphrey whisper-shouted. “It’s got to be him!”

“You answer it, Jem!” Ezra hissed. “Go on, we’ll pretend we’re not even here. Let you have your private moment to canoodle.”

My legs were barely more than jelly beneath me, and I could feel every mouthful of that sangria fizzling in my blood as I walked the few steps from the lounge to the door. The hammering began anew.

“Ooh, he’s desperate to see you!” Ezra giggled.

I opened the door.

It wasn’t SJ …

31. Fuck with Her and Find Out

Chapter 31

Fuck with Her and Find Out

Jemma

It was Chad.

“Is your douchebag boyfriend here?” he snarled, shoving past me. I was too shocked to do anything but let him storm into the living room. He saw Ezra immediately and halted, his cheeks pinking.

“Ezra,” he muttered. Ezra, the most amazing bestie in the literal world, got to his feet. He was a good few inches taller than Chad, and he used that advantage to stare him down.

“What do you want, Chad?” I asked, amazed at how level my voice was.

“Who’s that?” he asked, jerking his head in the direction of Humphrey.

“That is my boyfriend, and none of your fucking business!”

I gaped because Ezra very rarely swore. But this seemed like a good time to drop a whole arsenal of f-bombs.

Chad turned back to me. “Is he here?”

“Who?” Ezra asked.