Chapters (174)
- Content Warning
- A Note to Readers on my Choice of Language
- Dedication
- Prologue
- SJ
- 1. Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Jemma
- 2. Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- SJ
- 3. Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Jemma
- 4. Dinner and a Devilish Show
- Dinner and a Devilish Show
- SJ
- 5. Messages from FriendPay
- Messages from FriendPay
- Jemma
- 6. First Date with a New Soul
- First Date with a New Soul
- SJ
- 7. Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Jemma
- 8. No Pressure …
- No Pressure …
- SJ
- 9. Mount Those Horns of His
- Mount Those Horns of His
- Jemma
- 10. A Soft Spot for Mice
- A Soft Spot for Mice
- SJ
- 11. Date Faking
- Date Faking
- Jemma
- 12. Spicy Girl Dreams
- Spicy Girl Dreams
- SJ
- 13. Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Jemma
- 14. Ratty-Man
- Ratty-Man
- SJ
- 15. Sordid Bathroom Romps
- Sordid Bathroom Romps
- SJ
- 16. An Outright Lie
- An Outright Lie
- Jemma
- 17. Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- SJ
- 18. Ferretcon
- Ferretcon
- Jemma
- 19. Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Jemma
- 20. It’s a Date, Big Boy
- It’s a Date, Big Boy
- SJ
- 21. The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- Jemma
- 22. Distracted by Other Parts
- Distracted by Other Parts
- SJ
- 23. My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- Jemma
- 24. A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- SJ
- 25. Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Jemma
- 26. That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- SJ
- 27. Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- SJ
- 28. Pesky Feelings
- Pesky Feelings
- Jemma
- 29. A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- SJ
- 30. Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Jemma
- 31. Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Jemma
- 32. Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- SJ
- 33. Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Jemma
- 34. Dare You
- Dare You
- SJ
- 35. Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Jemma
- 36. Mystical Semen
- Mystical Semen
- SJ
- 37. A Goner for the Son of Satan
- A Goner for the Son of Satan
- Jemma
- 38. An Unnecessary Attachment
- An Unnecessary Attachment
- SJ
- 39. A Leaf Out of Her Book
- A Leaf Out of Her Book
- SJ
- 40. Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Jemma
- 41. Devils Don’t Cry
- Devils Don’t Cry
- SJ
- 42. He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- Jemma
- 43. Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- SJ
- 44. It’s a Grand Gesture
- It’s a Grand Gesture
- Jemma
- 45. Permanently in Purgatory
- Permanently in Purgatory
- SJ
- 46. Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Jemma
- 47. The B Team Strikes Again
- The B Team Strikes Again
- SJ
- 48. Not My Nightmare
- Not My Nightmare
- Jemma
- 49. Hold On, Mouse
- Hold On, Mouse
- SJ
- 50. My Heroic Devil
- My Heroic Devil
- Jemma
- 51. Not a Religious Celebrity
- Not a Religious Celebrity
- SJ
- 52. The Devil I Know
- The Devil I Know
- SJ
- 53. Let Them See
- Let Them See
- Jemma
- 54. I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- SJ
- Epilogue: Not Quite One Year Later
- Jemma
- And … Another Epilogue
- SJ
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Layla Pine
- About Layla
There was absolutely no way I was staving off the tears at that news. “Ell, that’s the best thing I’ve heard since these two told me they were cancer-free!”
I hugged her tight to my side, giving her a squeeze. “And you know what this means? You finally get Luci cuddles!”
“Omigod, omigod!” Ellie screamed, and I passed Luci over. Ellie immediately snuggled her, and to give Luci credit, she decided to choose affection over violence and snuggled right back.
“Can we get a photo with you, Jemma?” Harper asked, still eyeing my costume uncertainly. I wanted to tell her that she actually knew a real-life devil and that he had the heart of an angel, and she thought he was the bee’s knees. But I didn’t. I just scooped her against me, too, and let their mums snap away merrily.
“So,” I began when they finally broke away, sharing pats with Luci, “does this mean I won’t get to see any of you now?”
Ellie glanced at her mum, who nodded. “Well, we were kind of wondering, if you’d like to … um … come and do art with us at my house once a week?”
“We’d like to pay you,” Harper’s mum interjected. “What you did for our girls while they were in the hospital … it was the highlight of every week.”
More tears sprang from my eyes. “Really? I mean, I’m not … qualified … so I feel weird about taking money from you.”
“Nonsense!” Faith’s mum interjected. “You did a better job helping them through the toughest time in their lives than most of the professional therapists they saw. And you did it out of the goodness in your heart.” She reached into her bag and produced a tissue. “Dab, don’t swipe, or all that makeup is going to smear.”
“Thank you!” I blubbered, patting at my streaming eyes. “Oh, I’m going to be a mess by the time SJ gets here!”
“He’s coming?” Harper gasped, running a hand through her hair. I giggled wetly.
“He’ll be here after lunch. And I would love to keep seeing the girls—I’ve been missing these two the last month, and I just can’t imagine life without them! But I won’t let you pay me.” I held up a hand when Faith’s mum opened her mouth to protest. “I don’t feel right about being paid for something that I’m not qualified to offer. But … if you want to provide the art materials, that would be amazing!”
“You drive a hard bargain, Jemma Bliss. Alright.” Faith’s mum ushered the girls back. “We’d better let Jemma work, since she’s clearly an in-demand lady today!”
I glanced behind them, eyes widening at the line that had formed. “Holy … yes, enjoy the rest of the con, and pop back later if you want to see SJ!”