My body jerked violently, my neck snapping forwards as I stopped mid-air. I clutched a howling Beezle and Bub closer to me.

“You’re a real wanker, Son of Satan.”

I turned my head, wincing as my neck cracked, to be met with the smarmy face of bloody Mike. And Gabe and Raphe. Their wings were flapping frantically as they all worked together to hold me up.

“For badness’ sake! Will you let me go?” I grunted. “Do you know what your Queen wanted me for? Because I guarantee if you did, you’d be happier to let me fall to the Human Realm.”

Raphe rolled his eyes as Gabe scowled, “We don’t argue with Her. We just do as we’re told. And right now, we’ve been told to haul you back up to Heaven and lock you up until you’re ready to cooperate.”

Shit. We were … rising!

No. No, no, no. I could not go back there. I was not buying into Her little enslavement contract. She wasn’t as bad as Hellen—She was worse.

Thinking fast, I glanced down at Beezle. His eyes darted wildly, and he pawed at my hand.

“I can’t loosen my grip, Beez, I’ll drop you!” I snapped as the three archangels continued to ascend.

Beezle rolled his eyes impatiently. “Por, por por!” he barked.

“Gesundheit!” I replied. But then Bub joined in.

“Tal, tal tal tal!”

“Por por!”

“Tal tal!”

Home’s bones, why didn’t I think of that?

“The B Team strikes again,” I murmured, hefting Beezle tighter into the crook of my arm, freeing my hand and wrist.

“Do it, Boss!”

I began conjuring. The lights coalesced beneath us.

Unfortunately, the bloody angels noticed.

“Wait, what’s he⁠—”

“Oh, shit, he’s making a portal!”

“Don’t drop him, or She’ll⁠—”

The B Team struck.

Beezle turned and bit a chunk out of Gabe’s leg. He howled and released me. I thrust my elbow into Raphe’s windpipe. He made a gurgling sound and fell away.

“Oh no, you don’t!” Mike grunted, but he was one slender angel trying to support the weight of not just a burly devil, but also the two biggest-brained Hell Hounds ever to live.

“Oh yes, I do!” I growled. “Tell your Queen She can take Her batshit contract and stick it so far up Her arse that even in Heaven it will never see sunshine again!”

And Bub, with timing so perfect I would recall the moment for centuries, latched on to Mike’s nethers and bit down.

I was sure I heard the wet pop of a bursting gonad. Mike screamed, releasing me to fend off bitey Bub, who, in even more perfect timing, let go. As Mike doubled over his bleeding bollocks, we fell.

Right into the waiting portal.

* * *