Chapters (174)
- Content Warning
- A Note to Readers on my Choice of Language
- Dedication
- Prologue
- SJ
- 1. Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Jemma
- 2. Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- SJ
- 3. Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Jemma
- 4. Dinner and a Devilish Show
- Dinner and a Devilish Show
- SJ
- 5. Messages from FriendPay
- Messages from FriendPay
- Jemma
- 6. First Date with a New Soul
- First Date with a New Soul
- SJ
- 7. Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Jemma
- 8. No Pressure …
- No Pressure …
- SJ
- 9. Mount Those Horns of His
- Mount Those Horns of His
- Jemma
- 10. A Soft Spot for Mice
- A Soft Spot for Mice
- SJ
- 11. Date Faking
- Date Faking
- Jemma
- 12. Spicy Girl Dreams
- Spicy Girl Dreams
- SJ
- 13. Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Jemma
- 14. Ratty-Man
- Ratty-Man
- SJ
- 15. Sordid Bathroom Romps
- Sordid Bathroom Romps
- SJ
- 16. An Outright Lie
- An Outright Lie
- Jemma
- 17. Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- SJ
- 18. Ferretcon
- Ferretcon
- Jemma
- 19. Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Jemma
- 20. It’s a Date, Big Boy
- It’s a Date, Big Boy
- SJ
- 21. The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- Jemma
- 22. Distracted by Other Parts
- Distracted by Other Parts
- SJ
- 23. My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- Jemma
- 24. A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- SJ
- 25. Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Jemma
- 26. That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- SJ
- 27. Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- SJ
- 28. Pesky Feelings
- Pesky Feelings
- Jemma
- 29. A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- SJ
- 30. Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Jemma
- 31. Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Jemma
- 32. Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- SJ
- 33. Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Jemma
- 34. Dare You
- Dare You
- SJ
- 35. Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Jemma
- 36. Mystical Semen
- Mystical Semen
- SJ
- 37. A Goner for the Son of Satan
- A Goner for the Son of Satan
- Jemma
- 38. An Unnecessary Attachment
- An Unnecessary Attachment
- SJ
- 39. A Leaf Out of Her Book
- A Leaf Out of Her Book
- SJ
- 40. Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Jemma
- 41. Devils Don’t Cry
- Devils Don’t Cry
- SJ
- 42. He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- Jemma
- 43. Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- SJ
- 44. It’s a Grand Gesture
- It’s a Grand Gesture
- Jemma
- 45. Permanently in Purgatory
- Permanently in Purgatory
- SJ
- 46. Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Jemma
- 47. The B Team Strikes Again
- The B Team Strikes Again
- SJ
- 48. Not My Nightmare
- Not My Nightmare
- Jemma
- 49. Hold On, Mouse
- Hold On, Mouse
- SJ
- 50. My Heroic Devil
- My Heroic Devil
- Jemma
- 51. Not a Religious Celebrity
- Not a Religious Celebrity
- SJ
- 52. The Devil I Know
- The Devil I Know
- SJ
- 53. Let Them See
- Let Them See
- Jemma
- 54. I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- SJ
- Epilogue: Not Quite One Year Later
- Jemma
- And … Another Epilogue
- SJ
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Layla Pine
- About Layla
I eyed him darkly. “You can and you will. Or …” I ran my thumb across my throat menacingly. “And your soul belongs to me, you smelly little rodent. So death is no escape from the endless torture that awaits you.”
“Oh my God,” he mumbled tremulously, scraping that hideous lock of hair off his face once more. I itched to scalp him, just to get rid of that stupid hairstyle.
I laughed bitterly. “Oh, She cannot help you now.”
From the look on his face, I thought that if he’d had anything left in his bladder to empty, he would have done so, right there, walking towards a large red brick building with big brass letters pronouncing it ‘Fine Arts’.
* * *
Professor Gregory Proctor was exactly the man I’d imagined from Jemma’s story about him. Small, rotund, and pompous. Salt and pepper hair that was combed perfectly. Trousers with a crease down the front and a tie that had a jaunty pattern similar to those I’d seen on the work pyjamas the healers at the hospital wore. He probably thought that made him approachable.
I thought it made him look like an utter twat.
He answered Chad’s limp-fisted knock, his eyebrows raising when he spied his ex-student.
“Oh! Mister Cockburn! What a pleasant surprise. It’s been, what … two years since that alumni exhibition! Goodness, we got a little tipsy on sake together that night, hoho!”
If I wasn’t completely fuming at how friendly these two seemed to be, I would have heartily guffawed at Chad’s surname. As it was, both Beezle and Bub were wheezing under my earlobes.
“Cockburn! You honestly couldn’t make this up!” Beezle choked out. I shifted my shoulder to silence him. The movement caught the eye of Professor Proctor, who lifted his gaze from Chad to me. His bushy eyebrows disappeared up his wrinkled forehead.
“Well, well, well, what a delightful addition to this little surprise party.”
My fingers twitched to choke the life out of this self-important little shit. My expression must have given me away because the smile dropped from his face and his jowls wobbled, his eyes darting back to Chad.
“We should really go inside, Greg,” Chad mumbled. Greg? He was on a first-name basis with this git?
‘Greg’ backed away, a shaky hand ushering us into his office. I took a cursory glance around. No art on the walls, which seemed very strange for an art professor. There were, however, dozens of framed articles. All of them written by ‘G.F. Proctor, Esquire’. All of which seemed to be from art journals. And all of which appeared to be scathing critiques of actual artists.
The hatred I felt for this man was so intense that I felt my human form slipping involuntarily. I forced myself to calm down. Now was not the time to play that card.