Chapters (174)
- Content Warning
- A Note to Readers on my Choice of Language
- Dedication
- Prologue
- SJ
- 1. Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Jemma
- 2. Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- SJ
- 3. Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Jemma
- 4. Dinner and a Devilish Show
- Dinner and a Devilish Show
- SJ
- 5. Messages from FriendPay
- Messages from FriendPay
- Jemma
- 6. First Date with a New Soul
- First Date with a New Soul
- SJ
- 7. Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Jemma
- 8. No Pressure …
- No Pressure …
- SJ
- 9. Mount Those Horns of His
- Mount Those Horns of His
- Jemma
- 10. A Soft Spot for Mice
- A Soft Spot for Mice
- SJ
- 11. Date Faking
- Date Faking
- Jemma
- 12. Spicy Girl Dreams
- Spicy Girl Dreams
- SJ
- 13. Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Jemma
- 14. Ratty-Man
- Ratty-Man
- SJ
- 15. Sordid Bathroom Romps
- Sordid Bathroom Romps
- SJ
- 16. An Outright Lie
- An Outright Lie
- Jemma
- 17. Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- SJ
- 18. Ferretcon
- Ferretcon
- Jemma
- 19. Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Jemma
- 20. It’s a Date, Big Boy
- It’s a Date, Big Boy
- SJ
- 21. The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- Jemma
- 22. Distracted by Other Parts
- Distracted by Other Parts
- SJ
- 23. My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- Jemma
- 24. A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- SJ
- 25. Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Jemma
- 26. That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- SJ
- 27. Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- SJ
- 28. Pesky Feelings
- Pesky Feelings
- Jemma
- 29. A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- SJ
- 30. Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Jemma
- 31. Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Jemma
- 32. Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- SJ
- 33. Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Jemma
- 34. Dare You
- Dare You
- SJ
- 35. Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Jemma
- 36. Mystical Semen
- Mystical Semen
- SJ
- 37. A Goner for the Son of Satan
- A Goner for the Son of Satan
- Jemma
- 38. An Unnecessary Attachment
- An Unnecessary Attachment
- SJ
- 39. A Leaf Out of Her Book
- A Leaf Out of Her Book
- SJ
- 40. Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Jemma
- 41. Devils Don’t Cry
- Devils Don’t Cry
- SJ
- 42. He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- Jemma
- 43. Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- SJ
- 44. It’s a Grand Gesture
- It’s a Grand Gesture
- Jemma
- 45. Permanently in Purgatory
- Permanently in Purgatory
- SJ
- 46. Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Jemma
- 47. The B Team Strikes Again
- The B Team Strikes Again
- SJ
- 48. Not My Nightmare
- Not My Nightmare
- Jemma
- 49. Hold On, Mouse
- Hold On, Mouse
- SJ
- 50. My Heroic Devil
- My Heroic Devil
- Jemma
- 51. Not a Religious Celebrity
- Not a Religious Celebrity
- SJ
- 52. The Devil I Know
- The Devil I Know
- SJ
- 53. Let Them See
- Let Them See
- Jemma
- 54. I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- SJ
- Epilogue: Not Quite One Year Later
- Jemma
- And … Another Epilogue
- SJ
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Layla Pine
- About Layla
“Ooooh, and he’s so tall!” I swooned. “And broad! But he’s already gone past. Was the front as delicious as the back?”
“Better.”
I sighed. “Why didn’t you lead with,” Fanfiction Draco at seven o’clock?”
“You can go chase him down if you want. I’ll hold the fort here.” Ezra raised an eyebrow.
Something under my skin itched to do just that. But I shook my head. “I used up all my man chatting confidence to get you a date with Clay Boy. I’ll just have to satisfy myself by objectifying him in my imagination.”
Ezra rolled his eyes as another wave of customers flooded my stall. I forgot about sexy blonds, and my bestie having a proper, actual date, and even my gluten-free donuts, for the rest of the afternoon.
* * *
“Shit!” I cursed, dropping the stack of costumes into a tub and rounding on Ezra, who was flirting with Humphrey as he bubble-wrapped his unsold stock.
Ezra looked up, concern in his green eyes. “What?”
“I didn’t get my donuts!”
Ezra leapt into action. “I’ll pack, you go!”
With a quickly blown kiss, I launched myself out from under my gazebo, weaving in and out of the stragglers, still hoping for a last-minute purchase, my sneakered feet pounding the pavement.
They wouldn’t have sold out. They always had leftovers at the end of the day for stallholders.
I needed those damned donuts, if I was going to get through tonight!
“Oof!”
I collided with something solid, staggering backwards and falling on my butt on the grass. My breath left my lungs in a whoosh.
I squinted up, the afternoon sun in my eyes. And then a shadow blocked it, like an eclipse. Blinking, I tried to make out what I’d run into.
Long legs, clad in butt-hugging jeans. And holy Hell, what a butt!
A narrow waist, widening to a broad set of shoulders in a black collared shirt.
A shock of silvery-blond hair.
Oh. My. God.
Was the universe screwing with me?
Or was this my lucky undies at work again?
As if in slow motion, he turned. I sat on the damp ground, frozen, holding my breath, waiting for the moment that his face came into view.
And there it was. Strong jaw, high cheekbones. An aristocratic nose. Eyes that appeared almost silver against his pale skin.
Fanfiction Draco indeed.
He was holding a huge, white box with a green donut logo on the side. The biggest donut box I think I’d ever seen! He smirked down at me, opened the box, and took out a delicious, cinnamon-and-sugary treat.
My mouth watered. I wasn’t even sure if it was because he’d just produced the object of my culinary cravings … or because the way his lips wrapped around it as he took a bite was utterly sinful.