“Wait!” Ezra shrieked. “Who the hell calls a college student character ‘Gertrude’? That’s just ridiculous!”

“Shh, that’s beside the point. Anyway, this douchebag jock is trying it on with her at a party and takes things too far, and the nerdy TA who acts all weird around her—because he’s a vampire, and he’s worried if he touches her, he’ll want to drain her dry—well, he follows the jock home and rips out his throat.”

“That’s … bloodthirsty,” Humphrey mumbled.

“That’s touch her and die.” I snapped the book shut, my hands shaking.

“But Chad’s not dead … more’s the pity,” Ezra muttered darkly.

I shrugged. “Okay, so let’s call it ‘fuck with her and find out’. It’s the same result in the end. The male character is so obsessed he will literally mete out punishment on anyone who wrongs her.”

It could be a simple coincidence that I told SJ about my past with Chad, and then suddenly he was making shady soul bargains with him. Couldn’t it?

It’s not, though …

“Well, Chad’s certainly finding out what happens when you fuck with the love of Satan Junior’s life!” Humphrey crowed.

And for the first time since the onset of my feelings for SJ, I felt a proper surge of hope that maybe … just maybe … I could get him to fall hard enough that he wouldn’t want to send my soul to Hell after all.

But what would that do to the both of us, in the end? What if I fell just as hard for him?

Haven’t you already?

And if I did … or had … or might … how could we ever have a happily ever after when he was the Devil’s son, and I was just an average human girl?

These sorts of love stories worked in books … but I didn’t think my real life was a romance novel.

If it was … damn it, it was the most torturous slow burn imaginable!

“Well,” I began, tucking my phone under the strap of my tank top and unbuttoning my jeans to make room for my last slice of pizza. “Now I guess it’s just a waiting game for him to decide when we see each other again.”

My phone sent an electric shock through my chest. I squawked, tugging the thing out and checking the screen.

“Holy shit …”