When I returned to the hall Jenny was clarifying to the crowd that I was simply joking because of too much champagne. She begged them to ignore everything I said. The foundation still needed their support and encouragement and donations.

Then she asked me to leave quietly without creating a scene.

Diary what have I done to piss off wireless microphones so much? This is freaking UNBEARABLE. Every time I use one I get embarrassed in public. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Soooooooooooooo embarrassed. So so so so embarrassed.

I am going to go sit in the toilet for sometime.

Not getting a single good break in life since that wrong bank deposit from Dufresne HR.

Stupid microphones.

02 June 2007

7.34 p.m.

It is a cold, crisp morning in New York. When I wake up thin beams of sunlight are piercing the air of my room. The beams come from in between the venetian blinds that cover my ceiling to floor windows. I sit up and look around. Next to me Gouri is sleeping in a pair of shorts. And nothing else. Thanks to the private trainer I recently hired for her, she has a figure that is very similar to Jennifer’s.

She is sleeping face down on the bed. The Egyptian cotton bedsheets lay crumpled around her. I lean over and kiss her on her shoulder. She squirms with subconscious pleasure. I get up and immediately do my daily routine of 40 pushups, 40 abdominal crunches and then running in place for 15 minutes. Then I open the blinds. The view over Central Park is spectacular. It is autumn. The leaves are a dull golden. Central Park looks like a vast nugget of old gold sitting on the earth.

I smile to myself. This is the good life.

After washing up and changing into my work clothes—suit, shirt and tie from Versace, Ermenegildo Zegna and some specialist local brand respectively—I have a quick breakfast of cereal, eggs, bacon, bread and protein shake. Then I walk into the lobby and press the lift button. But then I have forgotten something. I run back into the living room and grab my Bore Atlantic swipe card from the top of the Bose home theatre system. On my way out I almost trip over the Xbox lying on the floor in front of the Sony plasma TV.

While going down the lift I make a mental note to buy a new cupboard. Gianni Versace has a new range of art deco furniture that is only available in limited edition on order. Otherwise I will have to do the usual and buy an antique piece from Sotheby’s or Christie’s.