I waited nervously for him to explain.

And he said something completely unexpected. He asked me if I’ve been talking to anyone about the deal with Tom. Of course not, I told him. Not even with Gouri or my family. Nobody knows. Then he told me to proceed extremely cautiously over the next few days, make sure all my documents, pen drives and laptop are always with me. And to be on the lookout for anyone who might be snooping around my things.

I asked him what the fuck was going on? (Not in those words. But with that intensity.) He said I just had to be careful and he would explain later if it came to that.

IF WHAT CAME TO WHAT?

Why are Tom and Dominic speaking like this? Why all this mystery and suspense?

Something is going on. I don’t know what it is. But something is going on.

I need to be even more alert than usual.

17 May 2007

11.32 p.m.

ALERT ALERT ALERT.

When I came to the room today Sugandh was already inside. At first I did not notice he was there, so I ran into the room and closed the door. Once again I had the Japanese platter for lunch and this time the combination of rice, fish and papaya was giving me turbulence. So I dived face down into the bed and vigorously expelled.

And then a voice comes from the bathroom: ‘You should see a doctor about that Robin.’

I was completely startled, jumped up from the bed and ran into the bathroom. In the confusion I expelled vigorously two or three more times.

I was overcome by a mix of feelings: shock at seeing Sugandh inside, embarrassment at my biological developments but also a general sense of gastric relief.

WHAT THE FUCK MAN! I screamed at him. He told me to calm down. The electrician was on leave and the manager had asked him to check my hairdryer. He complemented me on the high quality of my replacement. I told him I bought it from Brussels.

Then he looked at me and said: ‘Oh! You bought it with all the LLTLF money?’

MOTHER FUCKER!

Immediately, in my mind, I took the hairdryer and hit him on the top of the head where the skull bone is thinnest. There is a dull shattering sound as both the hairdryer and his skull explodes. But, because his brain is very small, there is very little blood or grey matter.

Sugandh chuckled and said he was joking. I told him to never, ever again insinuate that I was misusing funds from Lederman or Dufresne for my personal purposes. I told him that I was not that kind of man.

And then he asks: ‘Man? Or Isle of Man?’