She listened to me quietly and then burst out laughing. And laughed continuously for four or five minutes. And then she told me that this did not mean ‘we are ok’ and that she would call me later to discuss further.

TO DISCUSS FURTHER!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THAT WOMAN??? WHAT IS THIS??? THE KASHMIR PROBLEM??? SHOULD I GET THE UNITED NATIONS INVOLVED???

But of course I didn’t say anything.

After ten minutes I sent her an SMS. Just to cool things down. I told her that I lied only to keep her happy and not to make her upset. And that if I had told her the truth she would have just got disappointed. And that I had no intention of making her explode like this. Then I told her I love her and I hope she loves me too.

She sent me this in response:

‘When you lie to me then I don’t care if you were trying to not lie or prevent the truth from coming in between us or even if you were trying to lie your way through an inconvenient truth. Also I don’t get why you have to be all passive-aggressive about this. It is not my fault that your truth is not worth your word.’

I have a friend in India who reached the semifinals of Mastermind India in 2003. I am going to send the SMS to him and ask him what it means.

Stupid woman. Fed up.

So now that telling her the truth about the wax statue only got me ridicule, shame and mockery, I have decided to never talk about it again. I don’t want to think about it, remember it, refer to it, see it in this diary or anywhere else in the world.

The wax statue incident, as far as I am concerned, never took place.

Tea time. But this whole afternoon has left me without an appetite. Still I will go downstairs and bring some pastries inside tissue paper to eat when my appetite comes back.

11.05 p.m.

Apparently there is a story about ‘someone trying to molest a wax statue’ in today’s London Evening Exposer. There is an email about it on the London-Lederman-Dufresne mailing list. Everyone is laughing about it. Bastards.

It came up during the pub-crawl. And has been doing the rounds of the office since.

So far no indication that any of the TV channels have picked it up. And no calls or voicemails from anyone.

I don’t think the story named names.

I think I will wait and watch for another day, to confirm if anyone has identified me, before drinking bleach or glass cleaning liquid.

11.44 p.m.

NO NAMES IN THE STORY!

SAVED SAVED SAVED SAVED!

THERE IS A GOD!

21 March 2007

7.32 a.m.

I have an email from Dominic. He wants to talk first thing in the morning. Before the daily morning meeting.

He sent the email at 6.15 this morning from his BlackBerry.