So I told Dominic and Rahul that in my opinion an analysis that goes back more than 10 years makes no sense ‘given the revolutionary, not evolutionary, change that has taken place in contemporary banking’. Strategically, I said very confidently, we need to look at a broad but shallow window of analytics to genuinely generate actionable quantitative perspectives.

Rahul thought about it. And then told me to analyse everything from 1956.

Do you know what is unique about Rahul Gupta? He is the only chutiya in the world who is so big that he is visible from space.

Now I will have to work like a dog to finish it before the Brussels trip.

Valentina tells me that visa will come tomorrow.

I was fully prepared for a night-out in office. But then Dominic and Rahul said that they were going out for a lunch meeting followed by a visit to the Dufresne office. As soon as they left I made busy-type movements and conversations with the team and then suddenly made a huge hue and cry about how I had forgotten to arrange for forex for Brussels and must go and get it right away.

Then I came back to the apartment and slept.

Now I will work on the data. So boring. Waste of time.

19 May 2007

2.25 p.m.

So where am I supposed to go?

Brussels.

Which country is Brussels in?

Belgium.

What visa do you need to go to Belgium?

Schengen.

Who did I ask to help me get a Schengen visa?

Valentina.

What visa did she get me five days before I need to travel?

A FUCKING CHINESE VISA!

Why did she get me a Chinese visa?

Because she thought I asked for a ‘Shanghai visa’.

Is there such a thing as Shanghai visa?

No.

But why did Valentina think that?

Because she cannot speak English, is unqualified to do her job, and has brains made of diarrhoea.

YENTHORU KASHTAM!

Scrambling now to reapply for a Schengen.

Horrible mood. Horrible.

10.05 p.m.

No point in getting agitated so much. The travel agent has immediately filed an application for a Schengen. He has promised to do everything possible to make it happen in time.

Anyway. So that is out of my mind. I am not worrying about it.

Most of that Lederman data analysis is done. Frankly I don’t get the point of it all. But Dominic and Rahul seem pleased.

Today, Diary, I am going to sit and tell you a little about the people I work with. Ever since this project started I’ve been meaning to do a little … competitive analysis. Not that I am bothered about anything. Boris has told me that I am not due for a promotion in the next two years even if I get perfect performance evaluation results. (How is this supposed to be reflective of our ‘people-centric, purely meritocratic’ HR culture? Bastard.)