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Chapters (103)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. BEFORE
  5. PEYOTE
  6. PART I
  7. PEYOTE
  8. LILY
  9. PEYOTE
  10. MICKEY
  11. PEYOTE
  12. MICKEY
  13. PEYOTE
  14. SILAS
  15. PEYOTE
  16. MICKEY
  17. LILY
  18. PEYOTE
  19. MICKEY
  20. PEYOTE
  21. LILY
  22. PEYOTE
  23. MICKEY
  24. PEYOTE
  25. PART II
  26. LILY
  27. PEYOTE
  28. SILAS
  29. PEYOTE
  30. MICKEY
  31. PEYOTE
  32. MICKEY
  33. LILY
  34. PEYOTE
  35. SILAS
  36. PEYOTE
  37. LILY
  38. PEYOTE
  39. MICKEY
  40. PEYOTE
  41. LILY
  42. MICKEY
  43. PEYOTE
  44. SILAS
  45. PEYOTE
  46. MICKEY
  47. PEYOTE
  48. LILY
  49. PEYOTE
  50. SILAS
  51. PEYOTE
  52. MICKEY
  53. PEYOTE
  54. SILAS
  55. PEYOTE
  56. LILY
  57. PEYOTE
  58. SILAS
  59. PEYOTE
  60. LILY
  61. PEYOTE
  62. MICKEY
  63. LILY
  64. PEYOTE
  65. PART III
  66. LILY
  67. PEYOTE
  68. LILY
  69. PEYOTE
  70. LILY
  71. PEYOTE
  72. MICKEY
  73. PEYOTE
  74. LILY
  75. PEYOTE
  76. MICKEY
  77. PEYOTE
  78. SILAS
  79. PEYOTE
  80. MICKEY
  81. PEYOTE
  82. LILY
  83. PEYOTE
  84. LILY
  85. PEYOTE
  86. MICKEY
  87. PEYOTE
  88. SILAS
  89. PEYOTE
  90. SILAS
  91. LILY
  92. SILAS
  93. PHILIP
  94. PEYOTE
  95. LILY
  96. PEYOTE
  97. LILY
  98. PEYOTE
  99. AFTER
  100. PEYOTE
  101. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  102. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  103. What’s next onyour reading list?

“HOW WAS SOCCER?” SILAS asked when Mickey came through the front door. He stood over the stove, stirring paella. Recently, Lily had been working late most nights at the gallery, even though it was left to her when her parents died and was run seamlessly by the primary curator, to whom she had nothing to prove. Silas guest taught at the local college’s business school, but the semester was over and he had given the final tests to his TA to grade, so he was officially on summer vacation, waiting for everyone to catch up. He heard Mickey kick off her sneakers and drop her bag on the staircase before she walked back to the kitchen.

“Hi, Dad,” she said, stepping up to the stove and putting her head under his elbow. He opened his arm and pulled her against his chest, keeping the spoon in the pot. Sometimes his daughter reminded him so much of Lily, he would forget, just for a second, who was who. Mickey looked more and more like her mother every day. She was getting closer to the age Lily and Silas were when they met—closer than he felt comfortable with. He kissed the top of her head, which was a different color from her mother’s, but not by much.

“What am I missing?” he asked, holding out the steaming spoon. Mickey touched her lips to the wood and scrunched her nose. She looked the most like Lily when she concentrated, Silas thought.

“Cayenne,” Mickey said.

“God, you’re good,” Silas answered, and nodded toward the cabinet. Mickey hitched herself up on the counter and pulled down the spice. She stayed there, her knees squared with his hips, golden hairs on her long legs. Legs like her mother’s, he thought. He searched her face, looking for something of his. He could hear himself in her voice sometimes, but he was hard to find in anything physical.

“How was soccer?” he asked again.

“Good.”

“Oh yeah?” Usually, she would only shrug or beg him to let her quit. “Good” was a whole new ball game.

“I think I made a friend,” Mickey said, dipping her finger into the pot and sticking it in her mouth. She nodded. “That’s better.”

“A friend, huh? No one as cool as your old man, though, right?”

He handed her the cayenne, and she twisted around to put it back on the shelf.

“She helped me out at practice.”

“With your footwork?”

“With some asshole.”

Silas raised his eyebrows at his daughter. “What asshole? Also, don’t say ‘asshole.’ ”

“Some kid was being an ass—was being a jerk,” Mickey said, swinging her legs a little, just enough to make a hollow sound on the cabinets below. “She stood up for me.”

“Do you need me to break some kneecaps?” Silas said.

Mickey smiled. “No, thanks. She pantsed him.”