Chapters (174)
- Content Warning
- A Note to Readers on my Choice of Language
- Dedication
- Prologue
- SJ
- 1. Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Jemma
- 2. Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- SJ
- 3. Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Jemma
- 4. Dinner and a Devilish Show
- Dinner and a Devilish Show
- SJ
- 5. Messages from FriendPay
- Messages from FriendPay
- Jemma
- 6. First Date with a New Soul
- First Date with a New Soul
- SJ
- 7. Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Jemma
- 8. No Pressure …
- No Pressure …
- SJ
- 9. Mount Those Horns of His
- Mount Those Horns of His
- Jemma
- 10. A Soft Spot for Mice
- A Soft Spot for Mice
- SJ
- 11. Date Faking
- Date Faking
- Jemma
- 12. Spicy Girl Dreams
- Spicy Girl Dreams
- SJ
- 13. Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Jemma
- 14. Ratty-Man
- Ratty-Man
- SJ
- 15. Sordid Bathroom Romps
- Sordid Bathroom Romps
- SJ
- 16. An Outright Lie
- An Outright Lie
- Jemma
- 17. Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- SJ
- 18. Ferretcon
- Ferretcon
- Jemma
- 19. Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Jemma
- 20. It’s a Date, Big Boy
- It’s a Date, Big Boy
- SJ
- 21. The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- Jemma
- 22. Distracted by Other Parts
- Distracted by Other Parts
- SJ
- 23. My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- Jemma
- 24. A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- SJ
- 25. Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Jemma
- 26. That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- SJ
- 27. Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- SJ
- 28. Pesky Feelings
- Pesky Feelings
- Jemma
- 29. A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- SJ
- 30. Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Jemma
- 31. Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Jemma
- 32. Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- SJ
- 33. Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Jemma
- 34. Dare You
- Dare You
- SJ
- 35. Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Jemma
- 36. Mystical Semen
- Mystical Semen
- SJ
- 37. A Goner for the Son of Satan
- A Goner for the Son of Satan
- Jemma
- 38. An Unnecessary Attachment
- An Unnecessary Attachment
- SJ
- 39. A Leaf Out of Her Book
- A Leaf Out of Her Book
- SJ
- 40. Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Jemma
- 41. Devils Don’t Cry
- Devils Don’t Cry
- SJ
- 42. He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- Jemma
- 43. Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- SJ
- 44. It’s a Grand Gesture
- It’s a Grand Gesture
- Jemma
- 45. Permanently in Purgatory
- Permanently in Purgatory
- SJ
- 46. Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Jemma
- 47. The B Team Strikes Again
- The B Team Strikes Again
- SJ
- 48. Not My Nightmare
- Not My Nightmare
- Jemma
- 49. Hold On, Mouse
- Hold On, Mouse
- SJ
- 50. My Heroic Devil
- My Heroic Devil
- Jemma
- 51. Not a Religious Celebrity
- Not a Religious Celebrity
- SJ
- 52. The Devil I Know
- The Devil I Know
- SJ
- 53. Let Them See
- Let Them See
- Jemma
- 54. I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- SJ
- Epilogue: Not Quite One Year Later
- Jemma
- And … Another Epilogue
- SJ
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Layla Pine
- About Layla
The Artful Bite was every bit as wanky as I’d expected. Old shipping pallets were repurposed as tables, with upturned milk crates to perch on. My backside already smarted just from looking at them.
Noise bounced off the concrete floors and exposed brick walls. Most of the noise being the clatter of cutlery, which kept falling through the gaps in the pallets.
My eyes traversed the abstract art on the walls, and the swirling, bold colours sent my nerves jangling.
“Jemma!”
I blinked, and my anxiety spiked for another reason. Joe beckoned me over to a table in the corner, his laptop balanced on the pallet table. He barely looked up from the screen.
Wonderful. Dismissive Joe was my favourite.
I wound my way through the tables, wrinkling my nose at the variety of overtly healthy, artistic-looking meals that I just knew were going to taste like boiled garbage.
“Sit,” Joe commanded, tapping away at his keyboard.
“Morning, big brother,” I muttered, plonking onto the supremely uncomfortable stool, whisking out my lip gloss and swiping some over my lips. It gave me something to do while he answered emails, or transferred giant sums of money, or whatever it was he did in his banking job.
I’d worked out long ago that making me wait while he worked was just another hidden barb that career should take precedence over family. I tried to let it roll off me.
It wasn’t working so well today, not with the unnamed worries about whatever it was Ezra wanted to ‘talk’ to me about rattling around inside my brain.
I picked up the menu, discounting meal after meal. ‘Oven baked egg with a smoked trout and charred corn salad’ … they lost me at smoked trout … ‘breakfast couscous with muddled berries and charred coconut’ … muddled berries—what exactly did they have to be confused about? … ‘baked French toast with almond sprinkle and blueberry maple sauce’ … that actually sounded half decent … until I looked closer, and it didn’t come in a gluten-free option.
I sighed. Joe continued to tap away.
“Can I get you a coffee to start?” a server asked. She was wearing baggy jeans, Doc Marten boots, and a tiny, cropped, jade-coloured cardigan.
“Cute outfit!” I commented, meeting her eyes with a smile. She returned my gaze, her eyes widening for a second before she schooled her expression into something neutral.
What was that all about?
“Uh, thanks,” she mumbled, studiously avoiding looking at me. “Do you … can I get you a drink?”
I hitched my smile up higher, even as my nerves buzzed under my skin. “I’ll have a latte, please.”
“Green Goddess, Kayla,” Joe interjected, still not looking away from his screen. “And I’ll have the spiced cauliflower egg white omelette.”
The girl tapped away at the tablet in her hand. “And for you?” she asked, not so much as glancing up at me.