Chapters (174)
- Content Warning
- A Note to Readers on my Choice of Language
- Dedication
- Prologue
- SJ
- 1. Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Jemma
- 2. Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- SJ
- 3. Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Jemma
- 4. Dinner and a Devilish Show
- Dinner and a Devilish Show
- SJ
- 5. Messages from FriendPay
- Messages from FriendPay
- Jemma
- 6. First Date with a New Soul
- First Date with a New Soul
- SJ
- 7. Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Jemma
- 8. No Pressure …
- No Pressure …
- SJ
- 9. Mount Those Horns of His
- Mount Those Horns of His
- Jemma
- 10. A Soft Spot for Mice
- A Soft Spot for Mice
- SJ
- 11. Date Faking
- Date Faking
- Jemma
- 12. Spicy Girl Dreams
- Spicy Girl Dreams
- SJ
- 13. Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Jemma
- 14. Ratty-Man
- Ratty-Man
- SJ
- 15. Sordid Bathroom Romps
- Sordid Bathroom Romps
- SJ
- 16. An Outright Lie
- An Outright Lie
- Jemma
- 17. Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- SJ
- 18. Ferretcon
- Ferretcon
- Jemma
- 19. Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Jemma
- 20. It’s a Date, Big Boy
- It’s a Date, Big Boy
- SJ
- 21. The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- Jemma
- 22. Distracted by Other Parts
- Distracted by Other Parts
- SJ
- 23. My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- Jemma
- 24. A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- SJ
- 25. Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Jemma
- 26. That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- SJ
- 27. Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- SJ
- 28. Pesky Feelings
- Pesky Feelings
- Jemma
- 29. A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- SJ
- 30. Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Jemma
- 31. Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Jemma
- 32. Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- SJ
- 33. Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Jemma
- 34. Dare You
- Dare You
- SJ
- 35. Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Jemma
- 36. Mystical Semen
- Mystical Semen
- SJ
- 37. A Goner for the Son of Satan
- A Goner for the Son of Satan
- Jemma
- 38. An Unnecessary Attachment
- An Unnecessary Attachment
- SJ
- 39. A Leaf Out of Her Book
- A Leaf Out of Her Book
- SJ
- 40. Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Jemma
- 41. Devils Don’t Cry
- Devils Don’t Cry
- SJ
- 42. He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- Jemma
- 43. Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- SJ
- 44. It’s a Grand Gesture
- It’s a Grand Gesture
- Jemma
- 45. Permanently in Purgatory
- Permanently in Purgatory
- SJ
- 46. Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Jemma
- 47. The B Team Strikes Again
- The B Team Strikes Again
- SJ
- 48. Not My Nightmare
- Not My Nightmare
- Jemma
- 49. Hold On, Mouse
- Hold On, Mouse
- SJ
- 50. My Heroic Devil
- My Heroic Devil
- Jemma
- 51. Not a Religious Celebrity
- Not a Religious Celebrity
- SJ
- 52. The Devil I Know
- The Devil I Know
- SJ
- 53. Let Them See
- Let Them See
- Jemma
- 54. I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- SJ
- Epilogue: Not Quite One Year Later
- Jemma
- And … Another Epilogue
- SJ
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Layla Pine
- About Layla
Ezra’s warm hand covered mine. “First. Stop parroting Joe.”
I stifled a grimace at the mention of my brother’s name, bracing myself for the lecture. Ezra had lots of thoughts about my older brother. I’d heard them all, but that didn’t stop him from repeating them.
But he said nothing more about the fact that my brother disapproved of my business venture. ‘Disapproved’ was probably putting it kindly.
“Second … you do more for those girls than you realise. Being a kid stuck in here is bad enough, but they’re sick … and they’re being poked and prodded and filled with drugs that often make them sicker than the cancer does to begin with. You’re such an integral support for them. Plus, you’re like their Slay Queen.”
I rolled my suddenly burning eyes, reaching under my glasses to rub at a stray tear. “I don’t think that’s how you use that phrase. And they only think I slay because of the pink hair.”
Ezra chuckled. “I’m sure that helps, but it’s definitely not the only reason you’re a queen, Jemma.”
“Stop being so nice, you’re going to make my mascara run!” I let out a watery giggle, slapping him on the arm. He grinned, pushing the bundle of half-crocheted Ariel tail back at me.
“You’re so close to finishing. One last little push, and you’ll have another costume ready for the markets this weekend. Which ones are you at again? I can never keep up.”
I chewed on my lip, wracking my brain. “Uh … I want to say Showground? Which week is it?”
Ezra’s eye-roll was withering. “It’s the second weekend of the month.”
I grinned sheepishly. “Lakeside Markets, then.”
Ezra’s face lit up. “I hope that hot potter has the stall beside yours again!”
I smirked. “Been thinking about humping Humphrey, have you?”
Ezra guffawed heartily, but his cheeks turned pink. “Thank God you’re so good with names. I was too busy drooling to remember a single thing that came out of his mouth.” Ezra threw his head back and sighed. “The way he moulded that clay …”
“Yes, yes, we all get it. You want his fingers moulding your clay.” I leaned closer, cupping my hands around my mouth like I had a secret for him. “By clay, I mean your rear end.”
Ezra chortled. “He can turn me into a vase and stick his stem in me any day of the week.”
I collapsed into a fit of giggles. Soon my eyes were streaming, my mascara a lost cause. I hiccupped violently.
“Well, make sure you actually talk to him this time, Ez. You won’t be getting any stem-in-vase action if you just goo-goo eye him and blush whenever he so much as blinks in your direction.”
Ezra sighed. “I know. I really know this. Give me some of your confidence with men, Jem.”