Back My Soul For A Donut
Chapters (174)
  1. Content Warning
  2. A Note to Readers on my Choice of Language
  3. Dedication
  4. Prologue
  5. SJ
  6. 1. Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
  7. Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
  8. Jemma
  9. 2. Bubble Bath … Interrupted
  10. Bubble Bath … Interrupted
  11. SJ
  12. 3. Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
  13. Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
  14. Jemma
  15. 4. Dinner and a Devilish Show
  16. Dinner and a Devilish Show
  17. SJ
  18. 5. Messages from FriendPay
  19. Messages from FriendPay
  20. Jemma
  21. 6. First Date with a New Soul
  22. First Date with a New Soul
  23. SJ
  24. 7. Shag Your Way Out of This …
  25. Shag Your Way Out of This …
  26. Jemma
  27. 8. No Pressure …
  28. No Pressure …
  29. SJ
  30. 9. Mount Those Horns of His
  31. Mount Those Horns of His
  32. Jemma
  33. 10. A Soft Spot for Mice
  34. A Soft Spot for Mice
  35. SJ
  36. 11. Date Faking
  37. Date Faking
  38. Jemma
  39. 12. Spicy Girl Dreams
  40. Spicy Girl Dreams
  41. SJ
  42. 13. Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
  43. Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
  44. Jemma
  45. 14. Ratty-Man
  46. Ratty-Man
  47. SJ
  48. 15. Sordid Bathroom Romps
  49. Sordid Bathroom Romps
  50. SJ
  51. 16. An Outright Lie
  52. An Outright Lie
  53. Jemma
  54. 17. Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
  55. Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
  56. SJ
  57. 18. Ferretcon
  58. Ferretcon
  59. Jemma
  60. 19. Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
  61. Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
  62. Jemma
  63. 20. It’s a Date, Big Boy
  64. It’s a Date, Big Boy
  65. SJ
  66. 21. The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
  67. The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
  68. Jemma
  69. 22. Distracted by Other Parts
  70. Distracted by Other Parts
  71. SJ
  72. 23. My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
  73. My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
  74. Jemma
  75. 24. A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
  76. A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
  77. SJ
  78. 25. Big and Red and … Glowing?
  79. Big and Red and … Glowing?
  80. Jemma
  81. 26. That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
  82. That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
  83. SJ
  84. 27. Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
  85. Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
  86. SJ
  87. 28. Pesky Feelings
  88. Pesky Feelings
  89. Jemma
  90. 29. A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
  91. A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
  92. SJ
  93. 30. Both Her Downstairs Holes
  94. Both Her Downstairs Holes
  95. Jemma
  96. 31. Fuck with Her and Find Out
  97. Fuck with Her and Find Out
  98. Jemma
  99. 32. Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
  100. Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
  101. SJ
  102. 33. Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
  103. Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
  104. Jemma
  105. 34. Dare You
  106. Dare You
  107. SJ
  108. 35. Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
  109. Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
  110. Jemma
  111. 36. Mystical Semen
  112. Mystical Semen
  113. SJ
  114. 37. A Goner for the Son of Satan
  115. A Goner for the Son of Satan
  116. Jemma
  117. 38. An Unnecessary Attachment
  118. An Unnecessary Attachment
  119. SJ
  120. 39. A Leaf Out of Her Book
  121. A Leaf Out of Her Book
  122. SJ
  123. 40. Walking, Talking Red Flag
  124. Walking, Talking Red Flag
  125. Jemma
  126. 41. Devils Don’t Cry
  127. Devils Don’t Cry
  128. SJ
  129. 42. He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
  130. He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
  131. Jemma
  132. 43. Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
  133. Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
  134. SJ
  135. 44. It’s a Grand Gesture
  136. It’s a Grand Gesture
  137. Jemma
  138. 45. Permanently in Purgatory
  139. Permanently in Purgatory
  140. SJ
  141. 46. Eldest Spawn of Satan
  142. Eldest Spawn of Satan
  143. Jemma
  144. 47. The B Team Strikes Again
  145. The B Team Strikes Again
  146. SJ
  147. 48. Not My Nightmare
  148. Not My Nightmare
  149. Jemma
  150. 49. Hold On, Mouse
  151. Hold On, Mouse
  152. SJ
  153. 50. My Heroic Devil
  154. My Heroic Devil
  155. Jemma
  156. 51. Not a Religious Celebrity
  157. Not a Religious Celebrity
  158. SJ
  159. 52. The Devil I Know
  160. The Devil I Know
  161. SJ
  162. 53. Let Them See
  163. Let Them See
  164. Jemma
  165. 54. I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
  166. I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
  167. SJ
  168. Epilogue: Not Quite One Year Later
  169. Jemma
  170. And … Another Epilogue
  171. SJ
  172. Acknowledgments
  173. Also by Layla Pine
  174. About Layla

“Your future King here has a plan!” he announced proudly to the hoard. The discontented rumblings from below only made that knotting feeling in my stomach worse.

“You will listen!” he roared over them, and for the first time since they’d started their tantrum, they fell silent. I swallowed hard.

“Tell them your plan,” Father muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

“So …” I began, then paused to clear my throat. Hellen huffed out a derisive laugh behind me, which had the opposite effect to what she would have intended. Words began bubbling out of my throat.

“Through thorough research, I have discovered that modern humans are a ridiculously covetous and consumerist-driven society. They have developed systems by which they can spend money they have not yet earned on things they do not wish to wait for, and repay their debt in instalments,” I began. The demons below growled their impatience.

I hurried to explain the ‘FiendPay’ system and how it worked along similar lines, but instead of them offering money they didn’t have, they would offer their soul. And instead of making repayments, they would be forced into torturous tasks, under the mistaken belief that they had a chance of achieving the tasks and repaying their debts, earning their souls back.

“I believe in the short term, we can fuel the Pit through these torturous interactions in the Human Realm,” I explained. My hand slipped into my pocket, feeling the warmth of the piece of Jemma’s soul in there. I could bring it out, could show them that even without me directly torturing her, I was already harvesting her misery.

But something stopped me.

It’s too soon, I told myself. I don’t have enough evidence. I don’t want to get their hopes up.

I needed to explore this more with Jemma Bliss.

I clutched the Token in my fist like a talisman. “And when they inevitably fail in their four tasks, their soul becomes the property of Hell, and upon their deaths, it defaults to us. We lock Heaven out of a chance to steal them from us.”

The roar that blasted its way up from the Pit was deafening. But it wasn’t angry. It was vicious, and excited, and bloodthirsty.

“Your prince is rolling out this ‘FiendPay’ program as we speak!” Father announced. My chest jolted, and my gaze darted nervously to him. He met my eyes for a split second, shaking his head minutely.

He wanted me to help him lie to them.

“In-indeed!” I agreed as Father gripped my arm and raised my hand above our heads to a renewed thunder of cheers and horn smashing.

“Now, back to work!” Father cried and immediately turned his back on them. My head was spinning as I hurried to follow him.

How had this gone from a barely formed plan, to a trial run, to ‘your prince is rolling out his scheme as we speak’?