Chapters (174)
- Content Warning
- A Note to Readers on my Choice of Language
- Dedication
- Prologue
- SJ
- 1. Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Jemma
- 2. Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- SJ
- 3. Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Jemma
- 4. Dinner and a Devilish Show
- Dinner and a Devilish Show
- SJ
- 5. Messages from FriendPay
- Messages from FriendPay
- Jemma
- 6. First Date with a New Soul
- First Date with a New Soul
- SJ
- 7. Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Jemma
- 8. No Pressure …
- No Pressure …
- SJ
- 9. Mount Those Horns of His
- Mount Those Horns of His
- Jemma
- 10. A Soft Spot for Mice
- A Soft Spot for Mice
- SJ
- 11. Date Faking
- Date Faking
- Jemma
- 12. Spicy Girl Dreams
- Spicy Girl Dreams
- SJ
- 13. Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Jemma
- 14. Ratty-Man
- Ratty-Man
- SJ
- 15. Sordid Bathroom Romps
- Sordid Bathroom Romps
- SJ
- 16. An Outright Lie
- An Outright Lie
- Jemma
- 17. Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- SJ
- 18. Ferretcon
- Ferretcon
- Jemma
- 19. Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Jemma
- 20. It’s a Date, Big Boy
- It’s a Date, Big Boy
- SJ
- 21. The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- Jemma
- 22. Distracted by Other Parts
- Distracted by Other Parts
- SJ
- 23. My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- Jemma
- 24. A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- SJ
- 25. Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Jemma
- 26. That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- SJ
- 27. Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- SJ
- 28. Pesky Feelings
- Pesky Feelings
- Jemma
- 29. A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- SJ
- 30. Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Jemma
- 31. Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Jemma
- 32. Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- SJ
- 33. Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Jemma
- 34. Dare You
- Dare You
- SJ
- 35. Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Jemma
- 36. Mystical Semen
- Mystical Semen
- SJ
- 37. A Goner for the Son of Satan
- A Goner for the Son of Satan
- Jemma
- 38. An Unnecessary Attachment
- An Unnecessary Attachment
- SJ
- 39. A Leaf Out of Her Book
- A Leaf Out of Her Book
- SJ
- 40. Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Jemma
- 41. Devils Don’t Cry
- Devils Don’t Cry
- SJ
- 42. He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- Jemma
- 43. Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- SJ
- 44. It’s a Grand Gesture
- It’s a Grand Gesture
- Jemma
- 45. Permanently in Purgatory
- Permanently in Purgatory
- SJ
- 46. Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Jemma
- 47. The B Team Strikes Again
- The B Team Strikes Again
- SJ
- 48. Not My Nightmare
- Not My Nightmare
- Jemma
- 49. Hold On, Mouse
- Hold On, Mouse
- SJ
- 50. My Heroic Devil
- My Heroic Devil
- Jemma
- 51. Not a Religious Celebrity
- Not a Religious Celebrity
- SJ
- 52. The Devil I Know
- The Devil I Know
- SJ
- 53. Let Them See
- Let Them See
- Jemma
- 54. I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- SJ
- Epilogue: Not Quite One Year Later
- Jemma
- And … Another Epilogue
- SJ
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Layla Pine
- About Layla
“Your future King here has a plan!” he announced proudly to the hoard. The discontented rumblings from below only made that knotting feeling in my stomach worse.
“You will listen!” he roared over them, and for the first time since they’d started their tantrum, they fell silent. I swallowed hard.
“Tell them your plan,” Father muttered out of the corner of his mouth.
“So …” I began, then paused to clear my throat. Hellen huffed out a derisive laugh behind me, which had the opposite effect to what she would have intended. Words began bubbling out of my throat.
“Through thorough research, I have discovered that modern humans are a ridiculously covetous and consumerist-driven society. They have developed systems by which they can spend money they have not yet earned on things they do not wish to wait for, and repay their debt in instalments,” I began. The demons below growled their impatience.
I hurried to explain the ‘FiendPay’ system and how it worked along similar lines, but instead of them offering money they didn’t have, they would offer their soul. And instead of making repayments, they would be forced into torturous tasks, under the mistaken belief that they had a chance of achieving the tasks and repaying their debts, earning their souls back.
“I believe in the short term, we can fuel the Pit through these torturous interactions in the Human Realm,” I explained. My hand slipped into my pocket, feeling the warmth of the piece of Jemma’s soul in there. I could bring it out, could show them that even without me directly torturing her, I was already harvesting her misery.
But something stopped me.
It’s too soon, I told myself. I don’t have enough evidence. I don’t want to get their hopes up.
I needed to explore this more with Jemma Bliss.
I clutched the Token in my fist like a talisman. “And when they inevitably fail in their four tasks, their soul becomes the property of Hell, and upon their deaths, it defaults to us. We lock Heaven out of a chance to steal them from us.”
The roar that blasted its way up from the Pit was deafening. But it wasn’t angry. It was vicious, and excited, and bloodthirsty.
“Your prince is rolling out this ‘FiendPay’ program as we speak!” Father announced. My chest jolted, and my gaze darted nervously to him. He met my eyes for a split second, shaking his head minutely.
He wanted me to help him lie to them.
“In-indeed!” I agreed as Father gripped my arm and raised my hand above our heads to a renewed thunder of cheers and horn smashing.
“Now, back to work!” Father cried and immediately turned his back on them. My head was spinning as I hurried to follow him.
How had this gone from a barely formed plan, to a trial run, to ‘your prince is rolling out his scheme as we speak’?