Chapters (174)
- Content Warning
- A Note to Readers on my Choice of Language
- Dedication
- Prologue
- SJ
- 1. Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Jemma
- 2. Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- SJ
- 3. Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Jemma
- 4. Dinner and a Devilish Show
- Dinner and a Devilish Show
- SJ
- 5. Messages from FriendPay
- Messages from FriendPay
- Jemma
- 6. First Date with a New Soul
- First Date with a New Soul
- SJ
- 7. Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Jemma
- 8. No Pressure …
- No Pressure …
- SJ
- 9. Mount Those Horns of His
- Mount Those Horns of His
- Jemma
- 10. A Soft Spot for Mice
- A Soft Spot for Mice
- SJ
- 11. Date Faking
- Date Faking
- Jemma
- 12. Spicy Girl Dreams
- Spicy Girl Dreams
- SJ
- 13. Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Jemma
- 14. Ratty-Man
- Ratty-Man
- SJ
- 15. Sordid Bathroom Romps
- Sordid Bathroom Romps
- SJ
- 16. An Outright Lie
- An Outright Lie
- Jemma
- 17. Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- SJ
- 18. Ferretcon
- Ferretcon
- Jemma
- 19. Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Jemma
- 20. It’s a Date, Big Boy
- It’s a Date, Big Boy
- SJ
- 21. The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- Jemma
- 22. Distracted by Other Parts
- Distracted by Other Parts
- SJ
- 23. My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- Jemma
- 24. A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- SJ
- 25. Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Jemma
- 26. That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- SJ
- 27. Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- SJ
- 28. Pesky Feelings
- Pesky Feelings
- Jemma
- 29. A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- SJ
- 30. Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Jemma
- 31. Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Jemma
- 32. Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- SJ
- 33. Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Jemma
- 34. Dare You
- Dare You
- SJ
- 35. Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Jemma
- 36. Mystical Semen
- Mystical Semen
- SJ
- 37. A Goner for the Son of Satan
- A Goner for the Son of Satan
- Jemma
- 38. An Unnecessary Attachment
- An Unnecessary Attachment
- SJ
- 39. A Leaf Out of Her Book
- A Leaf Out of Her Book
- SJ
- 40. Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Jemma
- 41. Devils Don’t Cry
- Devils Don’t Cry
- SJ
- 42. He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- Jemma
- 43. Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- SJ
- 44. It’s a Grand Gesture
- It’s a Grand Gesture
- Jemma
- 45. Permanently in Purgatory
- Permanently in Purgatory
- SJ
- 46. Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Jemma
- 47. The B Team Strikes Again
- The B Team Strikes Again
- SJ
- 48. Not My Nightmare
- Not My Nightmare
- Jemma
- 49. Hold On, Mouse
- Hold On, Mouse
- SJ
- 50. My Heroic Devil
- My Heroic Devil
- Jemma
- 51. Not a Religious Celebrity
- Not a Religious Celebrity
- SJ
- 52. The Devil I Know
- The Devil I Know
- SJ
- 53. Let Them See
- Let Them See
- Jemma
- 54. I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- SJ
- Epilogue: Not Quite One Year Later
- Jemma
- And … Another Epilogue
- SJ
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Layla Pine
- About Layla
God whimpered, clawing pathetically at my arm. I ignored her.
“Their souls will be very nourishing,” I reasoned, keeping my eyes fixed on Hellen. I couldn’t look at Father. He deserved this fate for so many reasons, but the only one that stuck in my head was the broken shell of Mr Bliss’s soul. A man who had only wanted to keep a gang off the streets. And protect his little girl.
My girl …
And God … I didn’t even know what she’d done in Heaven, but if even her archangels were willing to support a revolution against her, it must have been abhorrent.
“So, I trade the souls of … two traitors to the Soul Realms,” Hellen mused, her lips curling, “to the Pit demons, with a promise that my brother and I are working together to ensure a steady flow of souls will return to them. And in exchange, I simply demand their fealty to me?”
Her face looked positively delighted at the prospect. My stomach swirled, but I reminded myself that for this to work, she needed to be placated. And she would serve the realm faithfully.
“You will be the most terrifying Lucifer ever to rule Hell,” I assured her. “They will never question a female’s right to the throne again.”
Hellen’s eyes narrowed. “And what do you get out of this?” she demanded.
“As the Queen of Hell, you promise that henceforth, no demon of Hell will attempt to enter the Human Realm or to reap souls from it.” I swallowed. “And Jemma Bliss is never to be touched by a demon again.”
“Present company excepted, I assume?” Hellen rolled her eyes. “You and your little human. I suppose I can trust you based on that alone. I know you will do anything to keep her safe—even break her fragile human heart.”
My chest jolted with pain at the reminder of what I had done to keep Jemma safe. Unsuccessfully.
Just another thing to atone for, SJ.
Hellen eyed Father, who crouched miserably at her feet, then turned her disdainful gaze to the blithering, trembling wreck clinging to my arm. “Alright. I agree. On the proviso that the demons accept me. If they do not …” Her eyes darkened with vicious promise. “All bets are off.”
“Understood,” I said hurriedly, shoving God to the floor in front of me. I hoped that I knew the Pit demons well enough to bet Jemma’s safety on my plan.
“Simeon!” God screeched. “You cannot truly mean to—”
I eyed her coldly. “Someone very recently told me that when it is for the greater good, sometimes a wicked deed must be excused.”
Her eyes bulged, and she scrabbled frantically, trying to get to her feet. I watched tensely as Hellen flicked her wrist, and her winds pinned God to the stone floor, unable to move anything except her mouth and her eyeballs.
“No …” she panted. “No, please!”
Both Hellen and I ignored her.