Chapters (174)
- Content Warning
- A Note to Readers on my Choice of Language
- Dedication
- Prologue
- SJ
- 1. Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Jemma
- 2. Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- SJ
- 3. Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Jemma
- 4. Dinner and a Devilish Show
- Dinner and a Devilish Show
- SJ
- 5. Messages from FriendPay
- Messages from FriendPay
- Jemma
- 6. First Date with a New Soul
- First Date with a New Soul
- SJ
- 7. Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Jemma
- 8. No Pressure …
- No Pressure …
- SJ
- 9. Mount Those Horns of His
- Mount Those Horns of His
- Jemma
- 10. A Soft Spot for Mice
- A Soft Spot for Mice
- SJ
- 11. Date Faking
- Date Faking
- Jemma
- 12. Spicy Girl Dreams
- Spicy Girl Dreams
- SJ
- 13. Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Jemma
- 14. Ratty-Man
- Ratty-Man
- SJ
- 15. Sordid Bathroom Romps
- Sordid Bathroom Romps
- SJ
- 16. An Outright Lie
- An Outright Lie
- Jemma
- 17. Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- SJ
- 18. Ferretcon
- Ferretcon
- Jemma
- 19. Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Jemma
- 20. It’s a Date, Big Boy
- It’s a Date, Big Boy
- SJ
- 21. The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- Jemma
- 22. Distracted by Other Parts
- Distracted by Other Parts
- SJ
- 23. My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- Jemma
- 24. A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- SJ
- 25. Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Jemma
- 26. That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- SJ
- 27. Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- SJ
- 28. Pesky Feelings
- Pesky Feelings
- Jemma
- 29. A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- SJ
- 30. Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Jemma
- 31. Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Jemma
- 32. Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- SJ
- 33. Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Jemma
- 34. Dare You
- Dare You
- SJ
- 35. Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Jemma
- 36. Mystical Semen
- Mystical Semen
- SJ
- 37. A Goner for the Son of Satan
- A Goner for the Son of Satan
- Jemma
- 38. An Unnecessary Attachment
- An Unnecessary Attachment
- SJ
- 39. A Leaf Out of Her Book
- A Leaf Out of Her Book
- SJ
- 40. Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Jemma
- 41. Devils Don’t Cry
- Devils Don’t Cry
- SJ
- 42. He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- Jemma
- 43. Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- SJ
- 44. It’s a Grand Gesture
- It’s a Grand Gesture
- Jemma
- 45. Permanently in Purgatory
- Permanently in Purgatory
- SJ
- 46. Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Jemma
- 47. The B Team Strikes Again
- The B Team Strikes Again
- SJ
- 48. Not My Nightmare
- Not My Nightmare
- Jemma
- 49. Hold On, Mouse
- Hold On, Mouse
- SJ
- 50. My Heroic Devil
- My Heroic Devil
- Jemma
- 51. Not a Religious Celebrity
- Not a Religious Celebrity
- SJ
- 52. The Devil I Know
- The Devil I Know
- SJ
- 53. Let Them See
- Let Them See
- Jemma
- 54. I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- SJ
- Epilogue: Not Quite One Year Later
- Jemma
- And … Another Epilogue
- SJ
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Layla Pine
- About Layla
“Uh … So, yeah … This is SJ’s sister.” I let out a manic giggle. “Surprise! He’s … kind of the Son of Satan.”
“And this is the … daughter of Satan?” He dug his fingers into the fabric of his trousers. There were still tear tracks on his cheeks from earlier, but he seemed oblivious, his eyes fixed on Hellen.
“I prefer eldest spawn of Satan.” Hellen and Joe seemed locked in some bizarre staring competition, their attention not straying from one another. “Unfortunately, I cannot inherit the crown. That goes to my distinctly lacking little brother. Who has been missing from Hell for almost six days now.”
My stomach cramped. What? Six days? Since Saturday?
“No!” My throat constricted with worry. “That can’t be right! I saw him go through a portal home on Saturday afternoon!”
But had he gone home? Sally had seen him on Saturday evening, lurking around the university … with a letter he was desperate to post.
Hellen’s face twisted into something so ferocious that I flinched backwards. “Apparently my brother was a better liar than I gave him credit for.” She stepped towards me. I stepped back on shaky legs. She advanced again. I retreated again.
“I … I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I mumbled. “He … whatever we were, it’s over now. He made that very clear.”
Hellen’s eyes flashed, and from inside the apartment, a scorching wind blasted me from behind, forcing me forwards. I yelped, digging my heels into the rug. I tried to turn, to push against the invisible force, but it was no use. I was buffeted towards her, my heart both hammering and sinking at the same time. The pounding pulse of it was deep in my abdomen as she leered at me.
She was going to do something awful to me, and there was nothing I could do to stop her.
I wondered frantically what she’d done to SJ to make him come back and end things with me. All my suspicions about him lying to me were founded, I was certain of it. He’d lied, to protect me from his lunatic sister. And it hadn’t even worked.
Where was he? What had happened to him? That pounding in my gut became a throb of nausea. What if he was …
My thoughts were torn from me when Hellen snatched me by the throat, dragging me against her. I screamed, but all that came out was a gargling groan, my voice box constricted.
“Jemma!” Joe gasped, getting to his feet. “What’s going on?”
“Your sister is collateral in a little … or rather a very large deal with my brother. And he broke his end of the deal. He disappeared. So, I’m taking what I’m owed.”
“Put her down!” Joe demanded, his voice a low warning. All I could see, smooshed up against her, with her hand still gripping my throat, was the way her eyes widened.