Chapters (174)
- Content Warning
- A Note to Readers on my Choice of Language
- Dedication
- Prologue
- SJ
- 1. Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Jemma
- 2. Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- SJ
- 3. Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Jemma
- 4. Dinner and a Devilish Show
- Dinner and a Devilish Show
- SJ
- 5. Messages from FriendPay
- Messages from FriendPay
- Jemma
- 6. First Date with a New Soul
- First Date with a New Soul
- SJ
- 7. Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Jemma
- 8. No Pressure …
- No Pressure …
- SJ
- 9. Mount Those Horns of His
- Mount Those Horns of His
- Jemma
- 10. A Soft Spot for Mice
- A Soft Spot for Mice
- SJ
- 11. Date Faking
- Date Faking
- Jemma
- 12. Spicy Girl Dreams
- Spicy Girl Dreams
- SJ
- 13. Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Jemma
- 14. Ratty-Man
- Ratty-Man
- SJ
- 15. Sordid Bathroom Romps
- Sordid Bathroom Romps
- SJ
- 16. An Outright Lie
- An Outright Lie
- Jemma
- 17. Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- SJ
- 18. Ferretcon
- Ferretcon
- Jemma
- 19. Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Jemma
- 20. It’s a Date, Big Boy
- It’s a Date, Big Boy
- SJ
- 21. The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- Jemma
- 22. Distracted by Other Parts
- Distracted by Other Parts
- SJ
- 23. My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- Jemma
- 24. A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- SJ
- 25. Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Jemma
- 26. That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- SJ
- 27. Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- SJ
- 28. Pesky Feelings
- Pesky Feelings
- Jemma
- 29. A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- SJ
- 30. Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Jemma
- 31. Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Jemma
- 32. Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- SJ
- 33. Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Jemma
- 34. Dare You
- Dare You
- SJ
- 35. Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Jemma
- 36. Mystical Semen
- Mystical Semen
- SJ
- 37. A Goner for the Son of Satan
- A Goner for the Son of Satan
- Jemma
- 38. An Unnecessary Attachment
- An Unnecessary Attachment
- SJ
- 39. A Leaf Out of Her Book
- A Leaf Out of Her Book
- SJ
- 40. Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Jemma
- 41. Devils Don’t Cry
- Devils Don’t Cry
- SJ
- 42. He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- Jemma
- 43. Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- SJ
- 44. It’s a Grand Gesture
- It’s a Grand Gesture
- Jemma
- 45. Permanently in Purgatory
- Permanently in Purgatory
- SJ
- 46. Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Jemma
- 47. The B Team Strikes Again
- The B Team Strikes Again
- SJ
- 48. Not My Nightmare
- Not My Nightmare
- Jemma
- 49. Hold On, Mouse
- Hold On, Mouse
- SJ
- 50. My Heroic Devil
- My Heroic Devil
- Jemma
- 51. Not a Religious Celebrity
- Not a Religious Celebrity
- SJ
- 52. The Devil I Know
- The Devil I Know
- SJ
- 53. Let Them See
- Let Them See
- Jemma
- 54. I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- SJ
- Epilogue: Not Quite One Year Later
- Jemma
- And … Another Epilogue
- SJ
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Layla Pine
- About Layla
Arm in arm, we headed down the rickety stairs of our apartment building. When we reached the foyer, I tugged on Ezra’s arm.
“Have you checked the mail at all this week?” I asked.
He shook his head. I fumbled around in my pocket, grabbing out the keys and unlocking our mailbox. Several official-looking envelopes fluttered to the ground.
“Oh, yay! Bills,” I muttered sarcastically, stooping to pick them up. But one caught my eye. I handed the rest to Ezra, eyes locked on the logo on the top corner of the envelope.
“Uh … is that from the university?” Ezra asked, peering over my shoulder. “It’s probably just some alumni crap for me—”
“It’s for me.” My hands were shaking. “Why would they be sending me a letter?”
Ezra nudged me towards the door. “I’m going to be late for work, but I’ll drive so you can open it in the car.”
My feet suddenly felt like lead as I trudged out behind him. Every time I thought about university, I could hear Professor Proctor like it was yesterday, ranting at me about laziness, and disorganisation, and lack of talent and creativity, and plagiarism, and lawsuits, and …
Ezra clicked my seatbelt on. “Open it. It’s not going to bite you.” He started the car, warm air blasting over me. With fingers that felt suddenly thick and unwieldy, I opened the envelope.
Dear Miss Bliss,
I would like to personally extend my most sincere apologies for the misunderstanding that resulted in the termination of your enrolment dated October 3rd …
I blinked away from the paper, my entire body prickling. “You read it, Ez.”
He took the paper from me. “Dear Miss—”
“Not out loud!’ I screeched. “Just … read it silently to yourself, and then give me the gist of it while you drive.”
I tucked my knees up to my chin and closed my eyes. And I didn’t move from that position the entire drive to the hospital. Not even when Ezra told me what the point of the letter was.
* * *
Was I having an out-of-body experience? It felt like my head was floating somewhere above me as I set up my art materials in the activity room. And it wasn’t a good out-of-body experience.
Or was it? I couldn’t work out how I was meant to feel about the apology or the offer that had been made to me.
How had Professor Proctor even found out the truth? That was where my brain had gotten stuck. The only people who knew about what had really happened back then were me, Ezra, Chad, and …
And SJ.
But no, SJ hadn’t known the name of the professor in question. Hadn’t even known which university I attended.
But he did know Chad.