Chapters (174)
- Content Warning
- A Note to Readers on my Choice of Language
- Dedication
- Prologue
- SJ
- 1. Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Crochet Penises and Stinky Shadow Men
- Jemma
- 2. Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- Bubble Bath … Interrupted
- SJ
- 3. Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Objectively Objectifying a Sexy Blonde
- Jemma
- 4. Dinner and a Devilish Show
- Dinner and a Devilish Show
- SJ
- 5. Messages from FriendPay
- Messages from FriendPay
- Jemma
- 6. First Date with a New Soul
- First Date with a New Soul
- SJ
- 7. Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Shag Your Way Out of This …
- Jemma
- 8. No Pressure …
- No Pressure …
- SJ
- 9. Mount Those Horns of His
- Mount Those Horns of His
- Jemma
- 10. A Soft Spot for Mice
- A Soft Spot for Mice
- SJ
- 11. Date Faking
- Date Faking
- Jemma
- 12. Spicy Girl Dreams
- Spicy Girl Dreams
- SJ
- 13. Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Brunch with the Stinking Undie Stain
- Jemma
- 14. Ratty-Man
- Ratty-Man
- SJ
- 15. Sordid Bathroom Romps
- Sordid Bathroom Romps
- SJ
- 16. An Outright Lie
- An Outright Lie
- Jemma
- 17. Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- Soul Reaping and Passive Misery
- SJ
- 18. Ferretcon
- Ferretcon
- Jemma
- 19. Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Bossy, Domineering Alpha Male
- Jemma
- 20. It’s a Date, Big Boy
- It’s a Date, Big Boy
- SJ
- 21. The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- The Stretchiness of Human Orifices
- Jemma
- 22. Distracted by Other Parts
- Distracted by Other Parts
- SJ
- 23. My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- My Biggest Weakness. My Worst Enemy
- Jemma
- 24. A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- A Super Creepy Diarrhoea Fetish
- SJ
- 25. Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Big and Red and … Glowing?
- Jemma
- 26. That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- That’s Why I’m Afraid of the Dark
- SJ
- 27. Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- Giant Softies and Sizeable Stiffies
- SJ
- 28. Pesky Feelings
- Pesky Feelings
- Jemma
- 29. A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- A How-to Book on Seducing Human Maidens
- SJ
- 30. Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Both Her Downstairs Holes
- Jemma
- 31. Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Fuck with Her and Find Out
- Jemma
- 32. Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- Lovesick for Jemma Bliss
- SJ
- 33. Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Nobody’s Gonna Be Looking at Your Face …
- Jemma
- 34. Dare You
- Dare You
- SJ
- 35. Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Let Me Play with My Pretty Mouse
- Jemma
- 36. Mystical Semen
- Mystical Semen
- SJ
- 37. A Goner for the Son of Satan
- A Goner for the Son of Satan
- Jemma
- 38. An Unnecessary Attachment
- An Unnecessary Attachment
- SJ
- 39. A Leaf Out of Her Book
- A Leaf Out of Her Book
- SJ
- 40. Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Walking, Talking Red Flag
- Jemma
- 41. Devils Don’t Cry
- Devils Don’t Cry
- SJ
- 42. He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- He Wasn’t a Mafia Boyfriend
- Jemma
- 43. Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- Wholesale Slaughter of Archangels
- SJ
- 44. It’s a Grand Gesture
- It’s a Grand Gesture
- Jemma
- 45. Permanently in Purgatory
- Permanently in Purgatory
- SJ
- 46. Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Eldest Spawn of Satan
- Jemma
- 47. The B Team Strikes Again
- The B Team Strikes Again
- SJ
- 48. Not My Nightmare
- Not My Nightmare
- Jemma
- 49. Hold On, Mouse
- Hold On, Mouse
- SJ
- 50. My Heroic Devil
- My Heroic Devil
- Jemma
- 51. Not a Religious Celebrity
- Not a Religious Celebrity
- SJ
- 52. The Devil I Know
- The Devil I Know
- SJ
- 53. Let Them See
- Let Them See
- Jemma
- 54. I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- I Never Really Wanted Your Soul
- SJ
- Epilogue: Not Quite One Year Later
- Jemma
- And … Another Epilogue
- SJ
- Acknowledgments
- Also by Layla Pine
- About Layla
“Is your girl friendly?” she asked, tilting a head in Luci’s direction. “Do you mind if I pop him in with her? I think I’m getting tennis elbow from carrying him.”
I laughed. “She adores a ferret play date!” I scooped Falcor out of her arms and plonked him down in the playpen. Immediately Luci scuttled over to sniff at him. “If I’d known you were coming tonight, I would have brought the axolotl costume. It’s sitting on my bed, ready to post out on Monday.”
“Oh, no rush on that.” Esther waved my apology away. “But it’s great to see you again, anyway!”
“It is?” I asked, meeting her gaze. There was something lively and energetic in her expression, something that had excitement zinging up my spine.
“Yes, we have a business proposition for you.”
I tilted my head, confusion swirling in my stomach. “Okay?”
Jules smiled warmly, her eyes crinkling. “Esther, you don’t need to make it sound so serious!” She nudged the taller woman with her elbow. “We’re very active in the ferret-owning community, and we’re also avid cosplayers.”
My little, pop culture-loving heart accelerated at that. “I’m in.”
Esther chuckled as Jules grinned wider. “We haven’t even told you our idea yet.”
I shrugged, my cardigan falling to my elbows. “You had me at ferrets and cosplay. Have you seen what I do here?” I gestured to my stall.
“Which is exactly why we thought of you immediately for this concept we’re developing,” Esther explained. “You do know that you’re semi-famous among local ferret lovers, don’t you?”
I wrinkled my nose. “No, that’s ridiculous.”
Jules’s smile widened. “You really are. Every ferret parent we speak to knows about Dooks of Hazzard.” She gestured towards the logo tablecloth hanging from my trestle table. “Cool name, by the way!”
My face heated with pleasure. “Thanks! I thought so, too. The first costume I ever made for Luci was a little hat and a plaid shirt … the Daisy Dukes were a little hard to manage on a ferret …”
“I can imagine,” Esther chuckled. “And we’re not kidding. You’re almost a celebrity in the ferret-having circles we run in. And, in our travels, we’ve discovered that the Venn diagram between ferret people and cosplay people … well, it’s almost a perfect circle.”
“I’m not sure I’m entirely following you … but I’m super excited anyway! Is that weird?”
“Not at all!” Jules reassured me. “That’s exactly the sort of enthusiasm everyone loves about you!”