Earlier today I decided that it was cowardly of me to not enjoy the cultural delights of London just because of three or four bad experiences. Tomorrow, when I go back to India or transfer to New York or Manhattan or launch my own consulting firm (tentative name: Robinnovators Pvt. Ltd), I will have left London having only worked very hard but having played very little.

With so many opportunities to enrich myself artistically and culturally in London, is it acceptable that I have given up so quickly? I asked myself this question, not because of any particular reason, and the answer was a clear no.

Like I said there was no particular reason or incident for this introspection. I decided to try again because of sheer self-interest and a thirst for diverse knowledge.

Ok. There may have been a small unrelated incident.

As you know my ego is not so weak that small things will make me upset. After all one of my most important personal mottoes is: ‘Never let anyone hurt your ego with their constant ridicule and relentless mockery, except Gouri due to the special nature of your relationship with that … woman.’

Still, I felt a little bad. I was sitting and working on a mission-critical spreadsheet when suddenly James turned to me and asked me if I had seen Amadeus. I had never heard of this person but in the high-speed, high-competition atmosphere in the modern workplace it is never good to give the impression that you are not fully informed. Also Dominic was in the room. So without looking up from my laptop, thinking spontaneously on my seat, I said: ‘I haven’t seen Amadeus for a few days. But usually this time of the day he is in the smoking room on the second floor …’

Everyone burst out laughing because Amadeus IS SOME FUCK ALL OSCAR AWARD AND NOBEL PRIZE WINNING SHIT BORING MOVIE ABOUT SOME MUSICAL COMPOSER, THAT EVERYONE IN THE WORLD HAS SEEN EXCEPT EINSTEIN! AYYO SO FUNNY SO FUNNY SO FUNNY … HA HA HA. MOTHER FUCKERS … HA HA HA.

But I did not express this anger by seamlessly joining them in laughter.

I told them that I had completely forgotten about the movie, which I have seen several times, and thought they were referring to Amadeus Patel who worked in Lederman’s corporate communication department. James asked me who I thought had a better role in Amadeus (Movie): Al Pacino or Marlon Brando.

Of course, Diary, I had no idea but I gave a good consultant answer by saying that ‘it depends’ and that there is no point in comparing apples and oranges.

ONE AGAIN THE FUCKERS STARTED LAUGHING LIKE EPILEPTICS! BASTARDS. HERE I AM LOSING SLEEP EVERY NIGHT TRYING TO SAVE THEIR JOBS THROUGH INNOVATIVE REMUNERATION MODELS. AND THEY ARE LAUGHING AS IF I AM A COCHIN KALABHAVAN MIMICRY ARTIST. CHUTIYA FIRANGS …

Immediately I made a solemn personal pledge to revive my cultural and artistic efforts.