She walked over in heels, looking very busy indeed, and handed me my template. Then she bent over my dinner table to point out the bits in the speech I was supposed to fill in. Depending on how the act went, I was supposed to say it was spectacular, awesome or whatever. And then a scripted line about the children. And finally an intro for the last act. Jenny then made some suggestions about … but I was not listening because she had unleashed a brutal attack on my eyes with cleavage. Within moments I began averting my gaze. But she was standing so close to me that I had no choice but to engage with the enemy.

Jenny smells of sweet jasmine in the cleavage area. Her hair smells of strawberry. (Mental note: What do I smell of?)

And then she left. I have no idea what she said or what suggestions she made. But in any case I’ve never had a problem with public speaking. So I didn’t worry about it.

I was seated next to a journalist from a small local London comedy website. Throughout the night he kept taking notes and asking me stupid questions about the bank and our culture and all that. After a while I got fed up and told him that I was a consultant and so could not say anything without violating client confidentiality. He shut up after that.

The comedy was generally of good quality. Not exceptional. I mean there were a couple of acts which were very poor. I make funnier jokes than them, fully impulsively, in the course of the regular day in the office. I asked the journalist what he thought. He said he was impressed. I told him I was funnier than some of them. He asked me if I did stand-up. I said no. He said I should try. May be I could start it as a hobby? He said he could help arrange shows in small clubs.

Finally my turn came to speak. Shortly before that a fellow came and hooked me to a mike. I picked up Jenny’s sheet and rehearsed my lines. The previous act had been pretty good. So I decided to say that the comedian had been ‘top class’. Then I introduced myself and told the audience what I did. For my next line I had to read something like this:

‘Remember ladies and gentleman that while all of us are having a good time here today, thousands of underprivileged children struggle to crack a smile. Make a difference. Donate generously to the Lederman Learning Through Laughing Foundation.’

And finally I was supposed to welcome on stage Rich Hall.

It all seems so simple now when I think about it.