Cover

SIDIN VADUKUT

God Save the Dork

PENGUIN BOOKS

PENGUIN BOOKS

GOD SAVE THE DORK

Sidin Vadukut’s bestselling debut novel Dork: The Incredible Adventures of Robin ‘Einstein’ Varghese was published in January 2010.

Born in a small town near Irinjalakuda in Kerala, Sidin spent most of his growing years in Abu Dhabi eating falafals. Once even with sambar. He is an engineer from NIT Trichy and an MBA from IIM Ahmedabad. Over the last decade he has made auto parts, developed online trading platforms, worked as a consultant and once had a sizeable portion of a tree fall on him. Sidin is currently a columnist and editor with the business newspaper Mint, a cricket columnist for www.cricinfo.com, occasional contributor to the New York Times and a full-time freelance Twitterer.

He lives in London with his remarkably patient wife, a plethora of Apple products and a growing collection of Buddha statues. He blogs at http://www.whatay.com and tweets with the handle @sidin.

Dedication

This book is, once again,
dedicated to the Vadukuts and the Kapoors.

But most of all to K.
Who is still coping.
What is wrong with you woman??!

BOOK ONE

PER DIEM

11 March 2007

8 p.m.

Bloody nonsense.

I just wasted an entire day of my life. Completely. I will never get this day back. If one night I die suddenly and painlessly in my sleep, just the night before I can finish some important thing like accept an award for a book, a film script or excellence in management consulting, then I will blame this day for not giving me enough time.

24 hours of my life … gone …

For weeks Gouri has been asking me to use my weekends here in London to see some museums, art galleries or other famous local places.

It is not that I don’t like art, Diary. I love art and history and philosophy and all. But there should be something interesting about it, no? Otherwise it is so boring. It will become like that stupid book Atlas Shrugged. Oh my god. Since engineering college I have been trying to finish it. But it just goes and on and on and on and on and then somehow I finish 150 pages. And then there is some exam or something.

Two months later I have to start from the beginning again because I have forgotten everything. It has been like this with Atlas Shrugged since bloody 1998.

But Gouri loves the author and knows the whole book by heart. We will be sitting at Lilavathi Barista on Saturday making weekend entertainment plans … when suddenly she will say some dialogue from Atlas Shrugged.

When I say some super Mohanlal line from His Highness Abdullah or Kilukkam she will ignore. But if she says some stupid nonsense like ‘But in fact there is NO spoon and fork Robin’ I am supposed to appreciate and participate.