So now I carry a small printout of the Atlas Shrugged Wikipedia entry in my pocket. Whenever she has that ‘literature look’ on her face I go to the toilet and do reference.

Anyway. At least here in London nobody asks me about stupid bloody Atlas fucking Shrugged.

So this morning I made my weekly call and immediately, without even waiting for me to speak, she insisted that I go to London Eye or the British Museum.

London Eye has unbelievably expensive tickets Diary. 30 pounds or something. Deivame. For the price of one ticket I can have two dozen beers at Bogdan’s, an authentic Bulgarian pub near my apartment.

The British Museum is free, but I have to take a bus or an underground train and go. Why waste ticket money to see dead bodies of Egyptians? In any case I have made plans to go to the British Museum whenever I have to go to the Russell Square Lederman branch. Then I can put the taxi charge in expenses.

So I decided to solve the problem using what I know best: the considerable database analysis skills that I have developed over the last few years of MBA and management consulting.

I went on the Internet and downloaded a list of all the museums in London. After sanitizing the data—Diary this means ‘clean and remove spelling mistakes’ in consulting—I inputted the list into a spreadsheet and then used a sorting algorithm on the Post Code to arrange them in increasing order of distance from my apartment’s location. Then I used colour coding to highlight the museums that were fully or partially free. After this I was able to generate a list of the nearest free museums, divided by category, opening times and online user ratings. This took three and a half hours of hard but very satisfying work in Visual Basic.

Unfortunately, I suddenly realized that it was by now 10.15 a.m. The buffet breakfast downstairs closes at 10.30 a.m. By the time I ran into the breakfast room the scrambled eggs were already over (these serviced apartments have no concept of supply–demand matching, kanban, kaizen or any other Japanese logistics methodologies) and only 6 or 7 sausages were left. This was a disapointment. As usual there was no shortage of porridge.

I was fed up of the breakfast fiasco when I went back to the room and lost all enthusiasm for the spreadsheet. Diary, once you lose your mood for Visual Basic, it takes a long time to get it back. So I just looked at the list and mentally calculated the three nearest museums: Durmondson’s Memorial, the Wellingtonian Museum and the Royal Museum of Environmental Engineering and Science. Of course I did some background checks on the Internet. All the museums had good websites with excellent photographs.