“Who is she bringing?”

“Ruth Caroway,” Lily said. “Have you met her?” Lily watched as her son caught his own surprise, turned over his own feelings. He thought he was so guarded, but he was the most open person she knew. All she had to do was watch, not listen.

“For the whole summer?”

“The whole time we’re there,” Lily answered. She thought he would be mad, maybe mad enough to make a whole thing out of it and prevent it from happening. But he wasn’t.

“That’s cool,” he said. And then, “Everyone I know is busy this summer.”

“Do you know this girl? Ruth?” Lily asked, leaning against Sean’s desk. She eyed his walls. She could barely see the paint behind the posters. It was light green. She and Silas painted it together, thinking they were elevated for not picking blue.

“Everyone knows her.”

“What does that mean? Is she not . . . is she not a good girl?”

“She’s not a dog, Mom,” Sean said, his eyes back on his screen.

“What?”

“Good girl!” Sean repeated, panting.

“Har har,” Lily said.

“I need to finish my homework.”

Lily could see Silas in his face, particularly in his eyes. She could see parts of herself in him, too, but they weren’t as visible. When Sean was a child, he had blond hair like hers, but not anymore. With each day, she faded from him. Or he from her.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this? You don’t want to bring anyone yourself?”

“I’m set,” Sean said. Lily didn’t know what that meant exactly, except that it seemed like an ending.

“You’ll tell me if you change your mind?”

“I won’t.”

Lily stood over him. She saw where the hairs on the back of his neck matted to his skin under his sweatshirt. She could tell he hadn’t showered, but she didn’t want to push it. She wanted to tuck him in, to find his pajamas with the trucks and the feet, and squeeze him until he was small enough to fit back in them. Even if it hurt him, even if it damn near killed him. She wanted to make him small again.

“Okay, sweetheart. Go to bed soon, all right?”

Sean mumbled and nodded. Lily paused, and then, like a refugee seeking a border, she swooped down and kissed his head. She left before he could react, making sure to close the door behind her.

—

LILY STOPPED IN THE hallway. Her head was spinning, maybe from the wine at dinner, or from the body spray that seemed to have replaced oxygen in her son’s room. She didn’t want to go back to her bedroom, back to Silas. She wanted to call Gavin. She reached into her bathrobe pocket and pulled out her phone.