In the beginning I tried to answer as accurately as I could. Then I got bored and started giving shit advice. Some thin scrawny fellow in Compliance wanted to know what yoga helped to increase weight and bulk up the body. Of course I have no idea. Then I told him that I was no expert, but standing on one leg and whistling very very loudly has been shown to increase muscle build up in teenagers (Just added that for authenticity! Wink!).

I meet that fellow in the canteen sometimes and he is always very nice and tells me that it is beginning to work for him. Stupid foreigners. Imagine how stupid Indians must have been in the 1700s if these buggers could come and colonize us.

Thankfully Dominic’s meeting was short and mostly sweet. He said that the entire team was being disbanded and sent back to their home offices. Only ‘Robin and I’ would stay back for the new configuration. (There was soooo much jealousy in the room when he said this.) All current projects would be consolidated into two new streams: Strategy and Profitability. Only meaningful projects would be retained. The rest would be discontinued. However Dufresne HR would credit everyone with full projects from an evaluation perspective.

After that Dominic and I chatted for a few moments. If all goes according to plan we should kick off the new team on the 15th, assuming everyone will fly in by then. Again he tried to find out what favour I was doing for Tom that got the project approved. I told him that the less he knew, the better it would be for all of us. He reminded me that if anything happened I would be on my own. Dufresne would abandon me immediately.

Then just before leaving office some guy from HR came over and told me if I could provide a reference check on someone called Sugandh.

Apparently the sneaky bastard has given my name as a local reference in London. Once again he has exploited my generosity without having the basic courtesy to thank me or inform me. Fed up of this third-rate, blackmailing, manipulative, exploitative, merciless, two-timing, under-educated, lower class crook.

I told HR that Sugandh was a good man, hard worker and seemed like the sort of chap who knew his area well. The HR fellow seemed satisfied. Apparently Sugandh is being picked for some kind of menial data entry job. I thanked the HR chap. And then he told me that I would get a 1000 pounds referral fee if Sugandh was finally hired.

Now I don’t want to say anything and jinx this. But have you realized how I am suddenly making a lot of money? Once this referral fee is paid to me, I’ll have something like 20,000 pounds in my account. Wow. What am I going to do with all this cash?