So I took the lift to the first floor, and then took the stairs to the service section on the ground floor. I walked up to the door, swiped my card, pushed it open and walked through. Which is when I suddenly realized that I had by mistake dropped the St Hilda brochure from the noticeboard on the floor on the other side of the door. So I turned around and swiped with my card, opened the door and reached through to pick it up. I wanted to quickly leave without being noticed, so I tried to lean in and lean out before the door swung shut.

The first part went ahead as planned. The door opened, I leaned inside smoothly, picked up the flyer and then … and then my timing went wrong. I couldn’t make it out of the door before it swung back on that spring thing. So my shoulders got stuck in between. It was quite painful. I pulled myself out. Which is when I made my major mistake. My shoulders got out of the door, but my swipe card, on my neck strap, remained inside. And the door shut.

Yes Diary. Fuck.

So on one side of the door my swipe card hung on the strap. On the other side I was stuck with my head squashed against the door. There was not enough strap to even pull my head through it.

It took forty minutes before one of the security guards noticed me in the back door CCTV camera. I just stood there with my face against the glass like a bloody idiot. While the concert started at St Hilda’s. The guard came slowly and opened the door at around 1.20 p.m.

Then he made me fill in a Security Incident report. He was laughing continuously and without sympathy. But then these Eastern European fellows are like that.

So now I am sitting here without anything to do for the next four hours.

Fed up of London culture.

7.25 p.m.

Stupendous LLTLF meeting Diary! No time to go into details now. But let me just say that suddenly things with LLTLF are looking splendid because of one reason … and it rhymes with Shinese Kudding!

Ha ha.

Had a quick chat with a lady called Lily in Dufresne London HR who told me that she has received the documents from Dominic and will prepare the revised salary slips within the next 24 hours. She said that the system to generate slips is connected to the banking software and so she’ll have to figure out a way to bypass some restrictions. But she is confident things can be completed in a day or two.